Humans have discovered the vampire and lycan breeds. So, human beings, um, being what they are, they immediately begin eradicating vampires and lycans. Vampire Death Dealer Selene (Kate Beckinsale) attempts to escape the purge with her Lycan-Vampire hybrid lover Michael, but they are seriously wounded and captured by the humans.
Twelve years later Selene is awoken from a cryogenically induced sleep in a strange medical facility and allowed to make her escape. But the world is different. Everything, including Selene herself, has changed. Selene discovers that she has some kind of psychic bond with another being. One that she assumes to be Michael.
She begins to hunt for her beloved...
Underworld: Awakening is a bad movie. A very bad movie. A bad movie that is as riddled with plot holes and predictable (albeit utterly nonsensical) plot twists as a Lycan's dead body is riddled with silver bullet holes. There was not a single moment during the film's brief 89 minute running time that managed to surprise or engage me. But I will gladly admit to being swept away by the deafening cacophony of action that was splattered across the big screen. Also helping was Beckinsale being decked out in some really hot looking fetish wear. Her costume designer is truly, madly, deeply in love with a dominatrix.
Because I was neither surprised or swept away by the movie, but was not bored while watching it, writing a review of the film becomes a bit of a challenge. Underworld: Awakening has an uncomplicated and easy to follow "plot," one that requires no thinking whatsoever. It is just a series of chase and action set pieces filling in for plot twists and character development.
With nothing at all to think about, I just sat there and admired how the CGI cryogenic mist was artfully draped over Beckinsale's "nude" form, thus keeping all of her naughty bits obscured. I also admired how the make-up department, the use of soft focus, and some CGI nips and tucks were used to hide the ravages of age on a supposedly ageless character.
I also admired the boundless courage of the drivers in the anonymous city (also known as Vancouver) who steadfastly kept driving, even as big honking Lycan monsters were leaping from vehicle to vehicle. Not a single driver hit their brakes, or swerved to get out of the way, or even panicked or screamed as the jumping and pouncing Lycans totaled one moving car after another. I think the strongest reaction I heard was from a cab driver, who looked up and barked "What the hell?" as a Lycan landed on the roof above him. Then again, he was a cab driver.
I also noted how Irish actor Stephen Rea's attempt at an American accent was about as good as his hair coloring. Noticeable, but not so much as to cause too much embarrassment.
The giant Super Lycan was pretty cool looking. The final battle between it and Beckinsale was a lot of fun to watch. Their fight takes place inside of a large parking structure, a setting that allows for ample swinging space (Beckinsale gets tossed into so many walls that I began to think her character was moonlighting as a wrecking ball) and a lot of parked cars for the two to smash and throw at each other. By the time the final battle started my viewing stupor had become something akin to a good beer buzz.
A few minutes later, though, my buzz got harshed. The movie does not end as much as it stops with a cliffhanger teasing a (no doubt hoped for) fifth Underworld movie.
One and a half stars out of four.
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