Chadzilla ROARS!!!

Hack/Slash Vol. 3: Friday the 31st - by Tim Seeley (writer) and Emily Stone & Matt Merhoff (art)

"No one is getting all tentacle porn on me, fucker!"

Cassie and Vlad face off against Chucky, a couple of skinless psychos, and an ancient evil from an alternate dimension.  Fun times.

Some of the material collected in this particular volume, namely Cassie and Vlad's run-in with Chucky, the killer Good Guy doll, is where I first jumped into the Cassie and Vlad story pool.  My opinion of that adventure remains unchanged: It's a rocking good ride that, like the entire series, is essential reading for any and all slasher-horror fans.

Revisiting the yarn(s) in this volume with a far more knowledgeable set of eyes (I have read almost all of the Hack/Slash comics available on the market) regarding who Cassie and Vlad are and where they come from, I cannot praise the ongoing series, the first few issues of which fill the second half of this volume, enough.  I also noticed and appreciated the now obvious to me groundwork that was being laid for the ongoing series in the duo's Chucky themed outing.

As far as those first few issues go, most of it was fresh.  So the monetary double-dipping was far less painful than the serial/trade double-dipping I have been making with The Walking Dead.  But that is a subject for a different commentary.

Again, those first issues.  Cassie's run-in with Dr. Gross covers background that has been so well covered in previous and subsequent serial and stand alone stories, I could walk it blindfolded with no fear of tripping over some hidden nuance.  While newcomers to the series will no doubt need to be told of Cassie Hack's origins, I think it is time for Seeley and the gang to push to character building envelope.  Something they did with the very next story arc, a demented and delightful thrashing of Hair Metal bands, the King, and Hentai.  If that description doesn't sell you on this series, I don't what will.

All I can say is, if you are a horror fan, then you are doing yourself a real disservice by NOT reading this oh-so-awesome horromedy series.  Horromedy?  Could that even be a real word?

Hack/Slash #15 - 17, featuring Herbert West, Re-Animator

"If you truly want to live again...you'll have to take your medicine."

Going down the list of potential parental suspects, Cassie finally finds her father, Dr. Jack Hack.  The reunion is a troublesome one, though.  For Hack is assisting Dr. Herbert West with the Re-Animator's "Re-Agent" experiments and the duo have one very special test subject to work with.  The notorious "Lunch Lady," Delilah Hack.

First the bad.  Cassie's reunion with her father is rushed to the point of its becoming a blurred mess.  While the reunion does answer some questions, albeit in a most unsatisfactory and unrewarding way, it raises a great many more that will no doubt lead to further gruesome run-ins with revenant slashers.  No complaints on the latter point, but the former left me cold and every bit as confused about Jack Hack and his self-destructive motivations as Cassie seemed to be.

Then again, this is a serial where real world rules do not apply and writer Tim Seeley (with story creating assist from Barry Keating) might have been muddying the waters for future clearing.

I hope that statement makes sense.

Now for the good.  The story kicks ass in all other departments.  Herbert West is still the insanely driven Herbert West.  The reunion of Jack and Delilah is a rocking rollercoaster ride of horror, humor and pathos laced with generous and very much appreciated amounts of sex and violence.  Then there are the nudges, nods and winks to various classic slashers in the arc's middle chapter, issue #16.  It's nice to see Michele Soavi's Stage Fright getting some love, along with the usual suspect(s).  That's the kind of stuff that makes Hack/Slash so special.

Hack/Slash: Revenge of the Return Part 4 - by Tim Seely (Writer) & Emily Stone, Fernando Pinto, Stefano Caselli/Tim Seely, Splash! and Rebekah Isaacs (Art)

Cassie and Vlad go up against a blood-sucking, flesh-eating lesbian Beauty Queen, a deranged fundamentalist that murders sinners, and a pack of feral children.

Revenge of the Return is the fourth trade paperback collection (hence the usage of Part 4) of Hack/Slash, my brand new favorite comic book series. Well, my brand new favorite comic book series this week. Next week could very well mark the return of Gravel to the number one slot, or The Walking Dead, or Fallen Angel.  It all depends on my mood, which is why even bothering to engage in BEST COMIC BOOK SERIES EVAR style hyperbole is just a waste of time.  I mean, really.  Just look at how much space I wasted simply explaining it.

And no, I am not going to cut it.  I bothered to write it, at least you can bother to read it.

But it is a fitting statement to the quality of Hack/Slash that, after reading one stand alone issue (Hack/Slash vs Chucky), I was hooked to the point that I had zero problem buying both the monthly serials AND the inevitable trade collection thereof.  Revenge of the Return gathers together issues 5 - 10, the stories collected are:

Love Stories: Which sets up the gruesome return of Emily Cristy.

Double Date: An absolutely hilarious pastiche of Archie comics that brings back the sinner slaughtering Father Wrath.

Tub Club: A three parter that uses the legend of Elizabeth Bathory as the starting off point for the playing out of Emily Cristy's return.

Little Children: Is an unpleasant close (but unpleasant in a good way) to the anthology and the horrific events push the increasingly stressful relationship between Cassie and Vlad to the breaking point.

What could very well have been a one-note monster hunt anthology (i.e. Cassie and Vlad show up to dispatch a monster, interact with victims and potential victims, save the day and then depart whilst tossing one liners at each other) becomes a little bit more thanks in large part to writer Tim Seely's daring to continually push Cassie and Vlad out of their story comfort zones and allow the stories to go gleefully over the top in the name of entertainment.  I don't know if I am completely sold on the government conspiracy angle, and the whole Revenant cellular research stuff gets me to worrying about X-Files style plot twists and turns that go nowhere and choke both the life and the fun out of the series; subsequently killing my interest in the characters and whatever nonsensical threat they may or may not overcome in their next battle.

But just because it has happened before does not mean that it will happen again.  At least that is what my Love at First Sight is telling me.  This time it will be different!  This one won't break your heart! Promise!

Only time and lots more reading will let me know if it's one or the other.  Right now I'm just going to enjoy the ride and encourage you to do the same.

Hack/Slash vs. Chucky

"Demon?  This is lame.  I wanna stab something."

Laura Lochs is still alive.  Eager to have revenge for the punishment dealt to her by Cassie Hack and Vlad in Hack/Slash: Girls Gone Dead, Laura reanimates the Good Guy doll that houses the spirit of Charles Lee Ray, the infamous Lakeshore Slasher, a.k.a. Chucky.  Having harnessed the doll man's dark powers, Laura is ready to attack, torture, and kill Cassie and Vlad.

But Laura has forgotten all about Chucky, who doesn't take kindly to being used...

Oh.  My.  God.  I am in love.  Truly, madly, deeply in love.  Cassie Hack is the single most awesomely beautiful psycho killing badass on the planet.

Okay, she might be the only awesomely beautiful psycho killing badass on the planet, but she's so damn good and hot at doing it, the world is in need of no other.

I had heard of Hack/Slash, but had never had a chance to read it (an oversight that I will quickly remedy by reading it from now on), because the comic book shop that I frequent didn't stock the book and, being easily distracted by bright and shiny things, I kept forgetting to special order it.  I'm not going to make that mistake again, I tell you.  I'm good and hooked.

Hack/Slash vs. Chucky seems to take place some time after the events in Seed of Chucky, at least I assume that to be the case, because Chucky's "remains" are still in Hollywood at the start of the story.  Writer Tim Seeley does a good job of capturing Chucky's personality.  As I read the killer doll's snarky dialog, I could hear actor Brad Dourif's voice (he being the voice of Chucky for the last 20 years) saying it in my mind.  Even Chucky's famous laugh reads right.  If you enjoyed the way Chucky was portrayed in either Bride or Seed of Chucky, then you will enjoy this outing, because it has the same darkly comic tone as those two films did.  Chucky was also very well drawn and colored, some of the panels could pass for stills from an actual  Child's Play sequel.

I'm sure the thin skinned religious types out there would gnash their teeth and rend their clothes at how conservative Christianity is, yet again, where the root of insanity is most deeply buried; but I doubt that they would even bother to pick up the book, much less read it.  But Laura Lochs' religious fanaticism gives the latter half of the book (which overcomes are rather convoluted set-up thanks in large part to its having so much fun setting the confrontation up) an interesting location: a fundamentalist Halloween style Hell House*, which also gives Chucky the opportunity to say what I think is the book's funniest line.  I won't spoil it here, but it'll be pretty easy to spot.  Fans of all things horror (or all things Hack/Slash and/or Chucky) should have as much fun reading this book as I did.  I recommend it unreservedly.

*You can learn more about the Hell House phenomenon by watching this documentary.