Chadzilla ROARS!!!

Kolchak the Night Stalker: The Lovecraftian Horror - by C.J. Hendersen (writer) & Jaime Calderon (art)

"Being convinced the end of the world is as tangible a concept as the new fall line-up, a lot of things begin to lose their importance."

When Kolchak is scooped on a "dead gill man" story, Tony Vincenzo demands that Carl make the drive up the California coast and dig around a bit.  See what there is to uncover regarding the outlandish story.  What Kolchak learns is a secret so mind-shatteringly terrifying that he even he agrees the world is better off not knowing what could, and will, happen here.

If one were to make a list of all the monsters and evil spirits that Carl Kolchak, every horror fans' favorite disgraced reporter, has yet to do battle with, I'm sure that Cthulhu and its minions would have been on it...

Until now.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker: The Lovecraftian Horror has Carl face off against a horror so awe inspiring, even he agrees that the world would be a far better place, for however little time it has left, not knowing about it.  Think about that for a moment.

Something else that I spent several moments thinking about was just how Moonstone's interconnected Kolchak universe has grown.  Not only are characters and events in the movies and series mentioned, but so are apocalyptic events in an adventure that I was not aware off.  I don't know if this was sloppy writing on C.J. Hendersen's part, or if these are events that are covered in one of the Kolchak the Night Stalker books sitting on my "to be read" shelf (shelves actually, I buy a lot of books).  When I know for certain, I'll let you know.  Just keep checking back, I'll be cracking those books open at some point in the coming year.  Until I read this book, I had kind of forgotten just how much I missed Carl's paranormal adventures.

As a Carl Kolchak story, it hits all the proper beats, even if his narrative voice is a tad more colorful than it has been in the past.  Then again, this is Carl narrating an H.P. Lovecraft pastiche, so some purpling of the old prose is to be expected.  As a homage to Lovecraft's legendary Cthulhu Mythos, the story, again, manages to hit all the marks and invokes an aura of dread that is almost palpable.  A tip of the straw hat to all that were involved.

Now for the smackdowns.  Did Jaime Calderon bother to read Henderson's text?  (Note, this book isn't really a comic book.  It's more of a long short story illustrated with a series of "widescreen" dual splash pages.)  At one point Carl tells the reader that he decides to take the inland "Interstate 101" (which is really Highway 101) instead of the coastline hugging Highway 1, but Calderon's artwork shows Carl tooling along Highway 1.  Whoops.  Then there are some editorial gaffs, such as having an entire paragraph of text getting needlessly repeated on pages 24 and 25.  Also, how did the Pacific get magically transported to the eastern coastline of North America?

While the story and artwork are good, and the end of the world image splashed across pages 70 and 71 is just spectacular, the writing and editorial gaffs keep me from recommending anyone pay the full $12.95 cover price for it.  Sloppy work should never be rewarded.

Kolchak Tales: Night Stalker of the Living Dead

"I think something's wrong here."

Kolchak is sent off to Georges Corner, Nebraska to interview the newest hot young face in Show Business, Wendi Fairchild.  Ms. Fairchild is supposed to be performing at her home town's Corn Festival, but the assorted festivities are interrupted by an outbreak of what appear to be flesh-eating "zombies."

The only genuinely surprising thing about Night Stalker of the Living Dead is that it has taken this long for Carl to have a run-in with George A. Romero style zombies.

Well, maybe not the only thing.  The appearance of some giant mutated man-eating pigs keeps issues two and three interesting, at least.

The fact that it has taken so long for Carl to venture into George's Corner of the genre (Get the ham fisted "irony" of the town's name now?) that the time lag works against it.  Flesh-eating zombies have so saturated the horror comic that there is next to no novelty to the encounter.  (Other than the pigs, that is.)  Carl is far too late in joining the party to really enjoy it.

Not that the story arc is a complete and utter washout.  The framing device is cute and Carl gets some romantic gravitas going with the local Sheriff, a smart and sexy glass of water named Kristin Collins.  Both play out as one would expect such sub-plots to in a Night Stalker story, but the humor in the former and the character interaction in the latter are solid.  The only other decoration hanging on the story's tree is an underdeveloped, albeit lively, appearance by Wendi Fairchild, the Hometown Girl made good n' famous.  Her participation, and I use that term very loosely, in the third act allows author Christopher Mills to tie all of his assorted story threads together into a nice and neat little self-contained decorative bow.  Perhaps a bit too neat.  But, as was the case with the framing device and the love interest, there is something to enjoy/appreciate in the story's conclusion.  That would be the conversation between Carl and an anonymous official "handling" the "situation."  Again, it's nothing new, but it manages to hit the proper story beats in just the right way.  At least I thought so.

The Kolchak Papers: Grave Secrets - by Mark Dawidziak

Reporter Carl Kolchak, having lost his job at I.N.S. for trying to expose the rather unique safety hazards lurking deep within the Merrymount Underground Storage Facility, located beneath the city of Chicago, now works for the tabloid Los Angeles Dispatch (a.k.a. the Disgrace).  While the times (it is now 1992) and Kolchak's stomping grounds may have changed, Kolchak's ability to uncover ghosts, goblins, and all manner of unpleasant and nightmarish beasties has not.  Neither has the reporter's tendency to step on all the wrong toes, which he promptly does at the press conference regarding the murder of land baron Glen Gilmore. 

Kolchak smells a cover-up, but his aforementioned toe stepping gets him banished to Goodland, Ohio, where he is to do some simple background research on Gilmore's recent housing development project.  What Kolchak uncovers, however, is the stuff of nightmares.

Mark Dawidziak's The Kolchak Papers: Grave Secrets, originally published in 1994 (and now out of print), was intended to be the premiere novel in an all new series of original Kolchak novels.  Things did not go as planned and the second novel, The Kolchak Papers: Grand Inquisitor by Doug Murray, failed to appear.  I do not think that it was for lack of trying.  Dawidziak's novel is a fun read, it's just doesn't contain the characterization of Kolchak that I cut my budding fan boy teeth on.  This might have to do with Dawidziak's being a far bigger fan of Jeff Rice's original novel, and the two TV movies it spawned, than the fun-yet-flawed TV series I remember so fondly.  Janos Skorzeny and Dr. Richard Malcolm, the villains from The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler, respectively, are mentioned more than once.  However, with the exception of a passing reference to Kolchak: The Night Stalker's final episode (the aforementioned Merrymount matter), the television series might as well have never existed. 

But that obvious bias doesn't stop Dawidziak from bringing back some of the series beloved characters.  Ron "Uptight" Updyke, Ms. Emily, and even Gordy "The Ghoul" Spangler have all managed to follow Kolchak from Chicago to Los Angeles.  Ditto the memorable Janie Carlson and Kirsten Helms, characters from Kolchak's sophomore adventure, The Night Strangler.  Oh, and some guy named Vincenzo shows up a time or two, as well.  The Kolchak Papers: Grave Secrets is just one, big happy reunion.  For the Kolchak fan, that is.  Carl might disagree, although he does love having Ms. Emily around.

Story wise, Dawidziak's novel doesn't rise too far above the level of the show he loves to dismiss.  (Just read his excellent book The Night Stalker Companion: A 25th Anniversary Tribute and you will see what I mean.)  I could see where potential commercial breaks could be placed in the story.  Since Secrets is a trim 200 hundred pages, the mystery Dawidziak concocts to fill those pages doesn't really give Kolchak all that many red herrings to chase, and the story seems to want to set up its climax within pages of Kolchak's arrival in Ohio.  The Kolchak Papers: Grave Secrets reads as a three act play that somehow misplaced its middle section.  While the book is a blast for the Kolchak fan, it will, more or less, leave those unfamiliar and/or curious about the character scratching their head and wondering why this odd and out of date character is so damn popular.

Kolchak Tales: Ghost Stories

Three newsworthy stories of supernatural suspense, from the files of the (in)famous, and currently unemployed, paranormal reporter, Carl Kolchak:

Fifteen Minutes:  Mindy and Bradley Forrest have moved into what seems to be a perfect house.  Then Mindy has a run in with the gruesome specter that haunts the basement.

Blood:  Trying to find some work, Kolchak attends the press conference of Windsor Chemical, a company under investigation by the EPA for alleged illegal dumping.  But those involved with the illegal activities have done more then get the attention of the EPA, there is also a fearsome specter that is killing all those that had a part in the crime.

A Clue to the Truth:  Ghosthunter Otto Brerhahrer, having offered Kolchak a job, sends the reporter to interview one Dr. Robert M. Carter, a legendary paranormal investigator.  What Kolchak gets is a lesson in Paranormal 101 that he will not forget.

It's great having Carl back in action, I've really missed him.  I'll admit that was I beginning to get more than a little worried that Kolchak: Tales of the Night Stalker #7 (reviewed here) would be the last of the series, but that isn't the case.  Issue eight, and an all new story arc, is currently in the works, and the stories in this anthology serve as a bridge to that arc.

Otto and Mo Brerhahrer (Could they have a last name that was any harder to spell?), a husband-and-wife team of ghosthunters, (who had introduced themselves to Carl in one of the latter issues of Tales, I'm not digging the back issues out of storage to find out which one) want Kolchak to help them write a book.  To prove to the skeptical reporter that they are serious investigators of the paranormal, Otto and Mo invite Carl to tag along on their latest investigation.  That investigation is Fifteen Minutes, the first story in the book.  Writer Dave Ulsanki refers to it as "creepy and moody," and that is an excellent way to describe it.  It also does the best job of presenting the new direction the creators will be taking the characters.

Blood is just a typical Kolchak adventure, and please don't think that I am damning it with faint praise.  My only complaint about the story is the look of the vengeance seeking specter, which is made to appear monstrous for no other reason than to supply the story with an easy-to-see-coming twist ending.  But the tale does a great job of capturing Kolchak's character.  If it were an episode of the series (and it could easily be made into one) then it would be on the level of, say, Firefall.

I had high hopes for the book's third and final story, A Clue to the Truth, because it was written by C.J. Henderson, the author of Pain Most Human and Pain Without Tears, my two favorite Kolchak the Night Stalker graphic novels.  But the third time was not the charm.  Seasoned fans will see the tired twist ending coming from panel one and the story really overdoes the whole "Carl Kolchak is the Chosen One" vibe that is beginning to run through the book.  That is a developing plot thread that, while not entirely surprising, does create some potential troubles in keeping Kolchak's Average Joe character average.

It's great to have more Carl Kolchak stories, and to know that there are even more coming.  Kolchak: The Night Stalker Casebook (an all new anthology of Kolchak short stories) and another miniseries, Kolchak Tales: The Frankenstein Agenda, are slated for release in January 07.  Then, some time next year, there will be a full length novel, written by C.J. Henderson, to crack open.  2007 is looking to be a great year for Kolchak fans.  Kolchak Tales: Ghost Stories is great way to wet the appetite for the goodes to come, enjoy.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker Volume 2: Terror Within - by Stefan Petrucha & C.J. Henderson (Writers) and Trevor Von Eeden, Greg Scott & Dennis Calero (Artists)

Three powerful stories from the files of investigative reporter Carl Kolchak:

Devil in the Details: Kolchak learns that the mysterious disappearance of the CEO of a financially troubled high-tech firm is rooted in a horrifying abuse of technology.

Pain Most Human: All is not what it seems to be when Kolchak tries to find out whether or not a top secret military plane crashed in a farmer's field in upstate New York.

Pain Without Tears: When a woman with empathic powers crosses Kolchak's path, he places his own life at risk to protect her.

Moonstone has done a wonderful job of expanding upon the Kolchak: The Night Stalker universe, bringing not only a plethora of weird and unique monsters, but also adding an emotional depth to the characters and stories that hasn't been seen since the original classic TV-movies first aired.  It is my opinion that the three stories collected in Kolchak The Night Stalker: Terror Within represent the creative apex of Moonstone's Graphic Novel branch of its Kolchak: The Night Stalker titles.  (The other two branches consist of a comic books series and a set of short story anthologies.)

The Stoker Award nominated, and deservedly so, Devil in the Details could very easily have been an episode of the original television series.  Capturing Kolchak's balance of humor and horror perfectly, the story offers up a healthy feast of chuckles and shivers as it takes the reader into a rather unsettling mystery.  Pain Most Human has Carl getting both a taste of the deepest, darkest evil that human beings are capable of and an unflattering glimpse of his true nature.  The story is a slow, methodical build to an emotionally devastating finale.  Making Human all the more powerful is the rough edged artwork of Greg Scott (assisted by Terry Pallot, John Statema, and Dave Ulanski) that looks like it was created using stills from the original movies and television series.

And then there is Pain Without Tears, which is, without any doubt in my mind, the best Kolchak story Moonstone has done to date.  Like Human, Tears shows Carl that not all paranormal activity is evil and that normal human beings can be every bit as monstrous as any ghoul, ghost, or long legged beast.  It builds wonderfully on Human's emotionally wounding climax (not all that much of surprise, considering the two stories were written by the same person, C.J. Henderson) and gives Carl a much needed chance at heroic redemption for his perceived failure.  Redeem himself he does, but the price is a costly one.  Dennis Calero's artwork for the story is superb, managing to be both photo real and dreamlike at the same time.

If you are a fan of Kolchak: The Night Stalker, then you owe it to yourself to read this book.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker Chronicles - Edited by Joe Gentile, Garrett Anderson, and Lori Gentile

Moonstone Books presents twenty-six tales of the surreal, bizarre, and macabre featuring intrepid journalist Carl Kolchak battling various ghoulies, ghosties, long-legged beasties, and all manner of nasty things that go bump in the night.

While it has taken well over thirty-years, Carl Kolchak is finally getting a much deserved second chance at life after cancellation.  (The first was Mark Dawidziak's attempt at launching a new string of original Kolchak novels in 1994 with The Kolchak Papers: Grave Secrets.)  Moonstone Books' original anthology (as well as its wonderful comic book and graphic novel series) starts up where Dawidziak's novel left off.  With Carl Kolchak, Tony Vincenzo, and all the I.N.S. staff regulars (Ron Updyke, Miss Emily, and Monique Marmelstein) working for the disreputable Left Coast tabloid, the Hollywood Dispatch.  The location may have changed, but Carl is quick to find that the City of Angels is really the City of Monsters.

It is easy to think of Kolchak: The Night Stalker Chronicles as the second season that could (and should) have been.  The stories range from radical re-inventions of Kolchak's character, (The Last Temptation of Kolchak by Steven Grant, The Pretty Dead Girl by Brent Matthews) to faithful recreations of the show's Monster of the Week story format, (The Ungrateful Dead by James Bates, Shadows from the Screen by Richard Valley, Barrens by Chuck Dixon, to name but a very few) and playful examinations and/or ruminations about Kolchak's impact on the world and what the monsters (or the forces that govern them) think of it.  (The Way of the Matter by P.N. Elrod, Interview with a Vampire? by Mark Dawidziak, What Monster Do by Peter David). 

Most of the stories in Kolchak: The Night Stalker Chronicles are fairly solid tie-ins to both the television show and its comic book series "sequels."  Characters and events from the movies, the series, and the comics are all mentioned  and, in some of the stronger stories, come back for an actual appearance, rather than a simple mentioned-in-passing cameo.  Being a somewhat conservative fan, (i.e. one that is resistant to major changes in the "canonical" and/or established Kolchak: The Night Stalker characterizations and/or story structure) the stories I enjoyed most were the ones that followed the established format of the show almost to the letter.  (Shadows from the Screen gets my vote as the anthology's best story.)  I was less than impressed with the ones that played around with the concept too much.  Those stories just didn't have the "feel" of either the show or of Kolchak's character, but I am sure that they will find some appreciative readers.  I also had slight problems with the Kolchak as private investigator stories.  In his own words Carl is just a "Dumb reporter doing his job," and the stories worked best when the writers remembered that.

While the reinvented Kolchak series didn't make it past six episodes, the comics and this collection show that there is more than a little life left in the continuing adventures of the original Carl Kolchak.  Keep reporting Carl, and I'll keep reading.

The Night Stalker (1972) / The Night Strangler (1973)

The Night Stalker (1972)

"I expect you to report, not make up fairy tales."

Las Vegas newspaper reporter Carl Kolchak (Darren McGavin) does not take kindly to being called off of his vacation to cover a day old murder investigation.  His opinion of the story changes when another, similar murder is committed.  Both victims were drained of blood, human saliva found in the neck wounds.  Kolchak suspects that a madman who thinks he is an actual vampire is prowling the streets of Las Vegas.

The Night Stalker is a concept so inspired, it is a wonder that it did not occur to someone long before Jeff Rice thought it would be a nifty idea to write a novel about an investigative reporter that finds he is chasing a story about a literal monster, not a figurative one.  The book, originally called The Kolchak Papers, wasn't published until after the TV-move based upon it became a huge hit.  As far as I can tell, Rice only went on to write a novelization of the inevitable sequel, The Night Strangler, and a graphic novel adaptation of his original story to launch Moonstone's Kolchak the Night Stalker comic book series.

What makes the first Kolchak adventure (and the successful ones that followed) such smart and witty fun, is the gradual revelation that the vampire is real.  While that fact is clear to the genre savvy viewer, the characters (including Kolchak himself) are steadfast in their refusal to accept what the facts tell them.  But, as the old saying goes, once you have removed the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.  Although the suspect is a man of advanced age, he possesses an inordinate amount of strength, is unfazed by gunshot wounds, and can out run a police car.  To say that he is a mere man is impossible...

But the freshness of the concept isn't all the makes The Night Stalker a classic story.  Darren McGavin creates a likable, albeit flawed, hero.  Kolchak has a smart mouth and doesn't care about the tempers he flares or the toes he steps on as he relentlessly digs out the facts of the story.  Fired from almost a dozen jobs before landing one at the Las Vegas Daily News, Kolchak is an unlikely hero for a story such as this.  Up until The Night Stalker, the heroes were usually either an authority figure of some kind (a police officer or soldier in the armed forces) or an intellectual (a scientist or professor of forbidden lore).  Kolchak is neither.  He is the everyman hero.  Someone who is struggling to keep his job and pay his bills, but is willing to sacrifice it all to learn the truth - but isn't embarrassed to run screaming from the monster when the going gets too tough.  He's not entirely fearless, and he is a bit of a fool.  Kolchak shoots of his mouth and, more often than not, thinks himself smarter than those around him.  That is why so many of the authority figures that Kolchak trades barbs with just keep giving the man rope, because they know he will eventually hang himself.  While Kolchak faced down many a monster in his time, it would seem that the man himself was his own worst enemy.  He may get arrested, he may lose his job, he might get kicked out of meetings, buildings, and even whole cities.  His weekly TV series might get canceled.  But he keeps coming back.  Any Kolchak fan will tell you, it is the utter impossibility of stopping Carl Kolchak that makes him such a compelling and popular cult hero.

The Night Strangler (1973)

"I'm just a dumb reporter doing his job."

Former Las Vegas newspaper editor Tony Vincenzo meets a still unemployed Carl Kolchak in a Seattle bar.  While Kolchak continues to have no success in getting the real story of what happened in Las Vegas out to the public, he does manage to get Tony to hire him.  His first assignment is getting background information on a three day old murder case.  Kolchak's "story" seems to be every bit as dead as the unfortunate victim, that is until the killer strikes again.  Kolchak then begins to uncover several interesting facts.  Item - the killer seems to possess an abnormal amount of strength.  Item - bits of decayed flesh are found on the throats of the strangled victims.  Item - an eye witness describes the suspect as "looking like a corpse."  Item - a similar series of murders occurred in Seattle twenty-ones ago...as did another series twenty-one years before those...and another...and another...

The Night Stalker caught everybody by surprise, which made doing a sequel a very daunting prospect.  After knocking around several ideas (including one that involved Jack the Ripper that screenwriter Richard Matheson rejected because it too closely resembled a short story by his friend Robert Bloch) Matheson remembered a tour of the Seattle underground that he had taken.  What if a killer that resembled a corpse crawled out of the grave of Old Seattle?  And so The Night Strangler was born.

Sequels can follow one of two routes.  The first is to take the story (or characters therein) in an entirely new direction that is spun off of the events that preceded it.  The second is to simply carbon copy the successful (or memorable) elements of the first story and just do it all over again.  It is not surprising that most sequels attempt some sort of balance, striving to give the audience something new while, at the same time, give them more of the same.  The Night Strangler manages to do both and is an excellent example of how to do a sequel and do it well.  It is also clear that the Kolchak the Night Stalker weekly series tried for a tone closer to the Strangler's than the original Stalker.

Richard Matheson and producer Dan Curtis (who climbed into the directing chair for this outing) manage to bring back all the story elements that made the first movie so unique and popular, while populating the supporting cast with far more humorous characters.  The Night Stalker was a fairly straight thriller with a dry wit, but The Night Strangler clearly emphasizes the humor, even going so far as to gives McGavin a zesty guest cast of familiar faces to play off of.  (Margaret Hamilton, John Carradine, and Wally Cox, to name a few.)  Matheson also creates a villain that, while not the feral monster that was Janos Skorzeny, is nonetheless someone you would never want to meet in a darkened alley.  The formula works just as well the second time around as it did the first.

MGM's The Night Stalker/The Night Strangler double feature DVD features a nice clean transfer and clear sound.  The only extra is an interview with Dan Curtis, who shares both some production history and his opinion of the industry today.  I agree with the man about what makes these movies play every bit as fresh today as they did thirty plus years ago.  They were made only to entertain.  There was no attempt to make a statement, create an event, or do something relevant.  All Curtis wanted to do was tell an entertaining story, and he did.  That is why I think these two movies (and even the maligned yet influential series that was spun off of them) are required viewing for any and every genre buff.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 20 - The Sentry (3/28/75)

"This is one story I may not get to file in person, so I'll have to talk fast because it's after me."

Kolchak not only goes undercover, he goes underground to investigate several fatal "industrial accidents" at the Merrymount Archive, Inc. storage facility, a fictional location not unlike the Gateway Commerce Center where George Romero filmed Day of the Dead.  Carl's persistent digging uncovers the hidden truth, a large reptilian creature is responsible for the deaths.

For several years, The Sentry was my number one pick for Kolchak the Night Stalker's Greatest Episode of All Time, ever.  But it appears that my warm and fuzzy childhood memories of the episode, the second and, sadly, final one (figuratively as well as literally) that I was able to see during the series original run, deceived me.  To a seven year old, a giant lizard monster is just cool.  To this adult, it's just stuntman Craig R. Baxley in an embarrassing suit.

Watching this episode, it is clear that everybody involved knew that the show was over.  The script is the weakest of the series, low on dialog and high on padding.  The comedy is far too intrusive and broad, edging into an outright parody of the show's formula.  It might be my imagination, but there seemed to be a real "get this thing over with quick" vibe to the episode.  Every scene is so perfunctory it feels like the cast is being rushed to finish it.  There isn't even an attempt to build up any suspense to Kolchak's discovery of the creature.  He slips out, walks down a hall, and then Craig R. Baxley comes shuffling along in his goofy suit.  The whole thing feels slapped together.

That being said, McGavin and his wife, actress Kathie Browne (Lieutenant Irene Lamont), seem to be having a blast playing two characters that cannot stand one another.  Their scenes together make this limp finale worth sitting through.

Still, there are those wonderful childhood memories of watching what, at the time, was the Coolest TV Show Ever.  (Come on, it had a giant man-eating lizard in an episode!)  In many ways Kolchak the Night Stalker is still the Coolest TV Show Ever, what else could you call the show credited as the inspiration for The X-Files?

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 19 - The Youth Killer (3/14/75)

"No, no that's the way I work Tony, you see I spit and polish at the same time."

When Kolchak has to do a feature on the Chicago dating scene, he discovers that the young people at one dating service are dying - of old age.

Kolchak the Night Stalker's penultimate episode was the very first I was allowed to stay up and watch.  Looking at it today I'm surprised that I enjoyed it as much as I did, because, while it is entertaining, it isn't exactly lively.  Then again, young people suddenly dying of old age doesn't make for edge of your seat suspense sequences.  Director Don McDougall seems to know this, as he gives the victims rapid aging and death a sedate and dreamlike feel that is almost dignified.  It is also nice seeing Kolchak having to match wits with Helen of Troy in order to destroy her.  The Youth Killer is only one of barely a handful of episodes to do this, The Devil's Platform and The Trevi Collection being two others that offer similar showdowns.  I guess you could also argue Firefall onto the list.  More funny than scary, The Youth Killer entertains, but it is no classic.  It is also the last episode to feature the supporting characters of Ron Updyke and Miss Emily.  Oh, and Gordy the Ghoul makes his first appearance since episode three, They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be...

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 18 - The Knightly Murders (3/7/75)

"I believe your brain has turned to onion dip."

The use of medieval weaponry is the only clue in a series of murders, at first.  Then Kolchak finds that all the victims had some connection to the conversion of a small museum into a steak and lobster discotheque.  Turns out that one display in particular, the armor of a misanthropic knight, not only hates parties, but also has excellent taste in music.  Disco???

Of Kolchak the Night Stalker's twenty episodes, number eighteen, The Knightly Murders, ranks in the top three of my all time favorites.  It, like The Spanish Moss Murders, is blessed with a solid script (granted the armor's ability to travel great distances through Chicago without being seen is left unexplained) that nicely balances some genuine tense moments with some fine comedy and, most important of all, it has a terrific cast.  John Dehner is wonderful as the stuffy Captain Vernon Rausch, whose long winded and pointless intellectual ramblings drive Kolchak to distraction.  The interview in Rausch's office is hilarious.  This is one Captain I wish could have returned for another episode.  Hans Conreid delights as the fussy and angry museum curator Mendel Boggs, his stated refusal to give any more information, or help, to Kolchak has to be the best brush off in the series.  Not to be over looked is supporting player Lieux Dressler as interior decorator Minerva Musso.  She is just over the top enough in her delivery to make her character funny, but not enough that it veers into camp.  Though I want to avoid spoilers, I have to say that the bedroom scene she and McGavin share is a perfect blend of comedy, suspense and outright horror.

As entertaining as the final two episodes that followed it are, I have to say that The Knightly Murders is the last Kolchak episode that deserves the moniker of classic.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 17 - Legacy of Terror (2/14/75)

"...I promised I'd show up with a hair cut, a new hat and a pressed suit, but I lie a lot."

Kolchak discovers that a series of murders, each victim's heart cut out, is linked to an Aztec cult and its mummy, who gets up every fifty-two years to aid in the killing of the final, and willing, fifth sacrifice.

Kolchak the Night Stalker's seventeenth episode is one of the four I had the privilege of seeing during its short network run.  Sad to say, but I did not get to see the complete episode.  Again there was that bed time thing.  I was cruelly teased by being allowed to watch only the first ten or fifteen minutes, up until the second sacrifice.  Then I was rudely sent to bed.  But my verbal protests and persistent begging to stay up and see "that reporter guy" again did not fall on deaf ears.  I got to stay up and watch two episodes from beginning to end, but more on those when I get to them.

It is funny what a child's imagination can do.  I always remembered the murder of the Green Beret in the stairwell as being far more graphic than it actually is.  (I swear that I saw the heart actually being torn out of the victim's chest.)  The only other things I remembered about it were Kolchak getting caught with his tape recorder hanging out in the stairwell and, later on, the cult members bursting through the door to capture Captain Timmins.  (I was shocked, because I thought she would be Pepe's love interest, or that Kolchak would rescue her.)  As time passed my memories of this early glimpse of Kolchak faded, resurfacing only when I caught an airing of The Demon and The Mummy on a local UHF station.  (A similar situation occurred when I first saw The Trevi Collection on CBS late night.)

The episode itself is a rather lackluster affair, with most of the sacrifices clustered too close together, in the first fifteen minutes of the episode, for the story to maintain any real tension for its entire running time.  Carl's run in with the ambulatory mummy is a treat, even if the contrivance to get him there is more than a bit strained.  (He is granted what Jabootu has dubbed the Hero's Death Exemption, being allowed to survive a situation wherein a less critical character would have been killed.)  Ramon Bieri clocks in his second appearance as a Captain of the week, but as a different Captain!  In episode eight, Bad Medicine, he played Captain Joe Baker.  In Legacy his character is Captain Webster, no first name.  Ouch.

Legacy of Terror is also notable for two little trivia nuggets.  Erik Estrada's charismatic presence stuck in producer Cy Chermak's mind.  Something in the actor's favor when, two or three years later, he auditioned for a potential role in CHiPs, a series Chermak was producing.  The other is that it is the only holiday specific episode in the series.  I ask you, what holiday is better suited for a story about people getting their hearts ripped out than Valentine's Day?

Kolchak: Tales of the Night Stalker - Issue #7 - The Saggath

"At least I knew where on the food chain I fell."

Kolchak receives a phone call from Officer Charlevoix in New Orleans.  It seems that the flesh-eating shadow monster has struck again.  Carl sneaks off to the Crescent City to get the answers to the questions first asked in the Kolchak: Tales of the Night Stalker issue one story, Shady Places.

I love what Moonstone Comics has done with its expansion of the Kolchak universe, it also got me back into reading/collecting comics again.  Separated into two different lines, the ongoing Kolchak: Tales of the Night Stalker comic books and a series of stand alone graphic novels under the familiar Kolchak the Night Stalker moniker, Moonstone's stories pick up where Mark Dawidziak's Kolchak novel Grave Secrets ended, or at least I assume that to be the case.  Dawidziak, who also wrote The Night Stalker Companion: A 25th Anniversary Tribute, set Carl, Tony Vincenzo, Ron Updyke and Miss Emily down in the offices of the Hollywood Dispatch, a Los Angeles newspaper.  Through the miracle of fiction, Carl and company remained utterly unchanged despite, at the time of Grave Secrets first publication, the passing of nearly sixteen years in the real world since Kolchak the Night Stalker's final episode, The Sentry, was aired on March 28, 1975.  It's as if those years never really happened.

Carl is still a magnet for the weird and unusual, which still annoys and infuriates his editor and friend Tony Vincenzo.  But Carl is still one hell of a reporter.  The biggest difference from the television series is the interconnecting of the stories.  Everything from the emotional toll of his constant battles with monsters ("Maybe killing a vampire makes you a magnet for every loopy critter on the planet," Kolchak says in the excellent Pain Most Human.) to Tony's personal reasons for protecting Carl and the wild stories he covers are explored and expanded on with each issue.  This gives the stories an emotional complexity that the series did not have, because we see the characters personalities grow and change with each story.

The Saggath brings Kolchak: Tales of the Night Stalker full circle, resolving the jumbled mystery of issue one's incomplete story Shady Places in a satisfying manner.  It also wraps up the multi-issue story dealing with Carl's sudden popularity due to his supernaturally powered hot streak in issue two's story Kyrie and the inevitable fall from grace that resulted from the disastrous overnight stay in the haunted house in issue four's scary Scratch.  Come to think of it, it seems that every loose thread is tied up and the issue's supposed "cliffhanger" could also be the closing of the ongoing comic's narrative door.  If it is, then they went out with an ending that fits Carl every bit as well as his rumpled suit and straw hat does.  If it isn't, then I cannot wait to see him bounce back in issue eight.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 16 - Demon In Lace (2/07/75)

"Did you hear that, huh Tony?  Did you hear that?  Another vanishing corpse!  I tell you we're in luck, it's terrific!  Another vanishing corpse!"

When handsome young male college students suddenly start dropping dead of apparent fright induced heart attacks, with the less than fresh corpses of pretty young ladies being found next to their bodies, Kolchak wonders what the story is.  He becomes even more curious when he finds that the dead young men had some connection to a local Professor translating an ancient tablet found in Iraq.  One that makes mention of a succubus.

Demon In Lace is a lot of fun.  From the welcome return of Captain Joe "Mad Dog" Siska (Keenan Wynn), who tells Kolchak, "Some people dream of retirement.  I dream of breaking your face," to Tony's meltdown over yet another one of Carl's crazy stories, Kolchak the Night Stalker's sixteenth episode is sure to put a smile on your face, even when it sneaks in the occasional chill to slither up your spine.  The story is solid, its mystery unfolding with nary a glitch, and the balancing of the humor with the horror is as close to perfect as the show could get. 

It's too bad that Jack Grinnage's Ron Updyke is given almost nothing to do, save sit or stand near Miss Emily.  There is one moment where he tries to track down an upbeat and humorous story for Tony's new "happy news only" approach to reporting, but, like everything else Ron does, it goes wrong.  Also disappointing is how Captain Siska disappears from the story at the halfway point, but Carl does get a classic parting shot, mocking the easily infuriated Captain's theory attempting to rationalize the creepy events.  Wynn and McGavin's potent comedic chemistry is every bit as strong in Demon as it had been in The Spanish Moss Murders.  I don't think I could ever get tired of watching Kolchak annoy Siska into a frothing rage.  If Kolchak had survived for another season, I am certain that Siska would have made another appearance, or two.

TRIVIA: Demon In Lace was the third of four episodes removed from Kolchak the Night Stalker's syndication package.  It was edited together with episode seventeen, Legacy of Terror, to form The Demon and the Mummy.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 15 - Chopper (1/31/75)

"That guy's head was chopped off twenty years ago!"

When a cab driver's head is lopped off by a headless motorcyclist wielding a sword, Kolchak has to piece together the clues of a biker gang's gruesome secret.

If Horror in the Heights is Kolchak the Night Stalker's most highly regarded episode, then Chopper is its most infamous.  Kolchak's EC comic styled twist on the Headless Horseman story was dismissed by none other than Stephen King, in his book Danse Macabre, as "one of the most tasteless programs ever done for network TV."  Well, I am of the staunch opinion that Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire? was.

I have always felt that the best Kolchak episodes were the ones with the most far out monsters, when it dared to be different.  I doubt that a show of its time period could get any more daring than a story about a headless ghost speeding around on a motorcycle and lopping off heads.

Chopper is the blackest of black comedy and, arguably, is Kolchak the Night Stalker's funniest episode.  Larry Linville owns the part of the uptight and angry Captain Jonas.  Sure he's just Major Frank Burns as a plain clothes detective, but watching him get suckered by Kolchak again and again is every bit as entertaining as watching the headless motorcyclist speed around and wave that sword of his.  As was the case with Primal Scream, the image freezes just prior to the critical moment of violence.  It works better this time around because there is a slicing sound heard the moment the freeze happens, and then we see the horrified reaction of someone who has just witnessed the incident.  The stunt drivers, despite having to wear a cumbersome and rather phony looking headless suit, deserve special kudos for making Swordman Baker's angry spirit an imposing presence throughout the episode.

So, if you want to see Kolchak at its very best, watch Horror in the Heights.  But if you want to see Kolchak at its wildest, then watch Chopper instead.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 14 - The Trevi Collection (1/24/75)

"Well tell me, how do you recognize a witch?  I mean besides the pointed hat and the cackle."

When an informant falls to his death while snooping around a High Fashion show, Kolchak finds himself in an interesting predicament.  The mob mistakenly thinks the informant had given Carl information that they want.  So Kolchak has to dig around and try to find the information the mob thinks he already has, in sixty hours.  But Carl's informant is only the first of a string of strange events and deaths.  The evidence starts to mount that somebody at the Trevi Salon is using the black arts, but which witch is the real witch?

The Trevi Collection is a personal milestone for the series, being that it was my very first exposure to the wonderfully spooky world of Carl Kolchak.  I discovered it while flipping channels one evening in 1975, when I was seven years old, and found this show where these mannequins push a guy out of a window.  Then it was bed time and I had to turn it off.  I was crushed, I really wanted to stay up and see what those killer mannequins were all about.  It would be a few more weeks before I got a glimpse of another Kolchak the Night Stalker episode, one that would disappear for years to come.

Nostalgia aside, how does the episode hold up?  Well it's terrific, a real winner.  After two rather pedestrian science-fiction outings the show finds itself back on supernatural ground and it is all the better for it.  The strongest thing about Collection is its plot, which unfolds like a good old fashioned mystery, the supernatural angle slowly uncovered by a disbelieving Kolchak.  Well, he's a disbeliever until a driverless car tries to run him over.  Before that incident Carl's only concern is trying to find what it is that the mob wants.  After it he becomes distracted by the spooky stuff and it is Tony that does all the worrying, which results in a one sided shouting match that nearly gives poor Vincenzo a heart attack.  The only downside to the episode is Lara Parker's sometimes over enthusiastic cackling as Madelaine, the model that lures Kolchak in doing something he comes to regret.  The Trevi Collection is in the top five of my all time favorite episodes.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 13 - Primal Scream (1/17/75)

"Was it a man or a gorilla?"

When the brutal murder of a scientist at an oil company's research facility is kept hush-hush, Kolchak digs a little deeper.  He uncovers a link between the murder, some accidentally thawed Arctic core samples, and a strange, and carnivorous, ape man that is terrorizing Chicago.

While the thirteenth episode of Kolchak the Night Stalker is more original in concept than Mr. R.I.N.G., it is still a far from satisfying story.  For me, that is.  Carl does come the closest he ever will to actually getting one of his bizarre stories out on the wire, but the villainous oil corporation manages to thwart him, of course.

Where Primal Scream goes wrong is in its pacing.  The episode is just too slow moving.  Captain of the week John Marley gets in a choice comment to Kolchak about "dealing with baboons," but that was all the really stuck with me.  The monster itself isn't all that unsettling or interesting, either.  The attack scenes, despite some impressive stunt work, lack energy.  No doubt due to a television show of that time not being able to imply people getting torn limb from limb in any great detail.  It's just the ape man jumping on its victim, tossing the person around for a second or two, then a zoom in on a freeze frame just prior to when the dirty work should be starting.  Not the stuff of nerve wracking terror.

On the positive side, there is the welcome return of Ron Updyke.  After being given nothing put cameos in the preceding four episodes, Updyke gets the chance to tell a bad joke, get in Carl's face at a crime scene, and even attempt some revenge, trying to have Kolchak's car towed after Carl uses Updyke's parking space one time too many.  The plan backfires, of course.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 12 - Mr. R.I.N.G. (01/10/75)

"I spent four years in High School and the hankie never left my hand."

When a renowned research scientist dies, Kolchak is given the task of writing the obituary.  But when Carl tries to update the information about Dr. Avery Walker's current projects, he hits a wall called R.I.N.G.

Kolchak the Night Stalker's twelfth episode falls flat with an almost audible thud.  I think the terms I used to describe it during its run on CBS late night (when I was all of twelve years old) were dull, boring, and stupid.  If I was going to stay up into the wee hours of the night, then I wanted to see some exciting monsters doing some exciting stuff.  Mr. R.I.N.G. does not have an exciting monster and it does very little exciting stuff.  Today, pushing forty, I can be a tad more diplomatic about Mr. R.I.N.G.'s shortcomings.  The episode is just pedestrian and cliche, recycling the moldy science-fiction chestnut of the artificially intelligent robot that becomes "human".  For me it is the series low point.

But the episode is not a complete washout.  Watching Kolchak do his thing, which is to alternate between investigating the story and irritating those involved with it, is always a delight.  Another bonus is the rather sedate nature of Carl and Tony's arguments in this outing.  They talk as equals, with Kolchak giving Vincenzo passionate yet intelligent reasons why I.N.S. should not buckle under the pressure to cancel the story.  "What if Manny gave you apple pie ala mode, but didn't tell you what ice cream you'd be getting?" Carl asks Tony.  "It could be some horrible chocolate chip, or butter brickle, or even Rocky Road."  "I hate Rocky Road," Tony replies.  These dialogs are a real change of pace from the routine shouting matches and they really work wonders for the show and the characters, making the episode worth at least one viewing.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 11 - Horror in the Heights (12/20/74)

"Son, I've seen more dead bodies than you've had TV dinners."

During a slow news cycle Kolchak does a small story about "Buck" Feinman, an elderly man whose body was devoured by rats immediately following the time of death.  When Kolchak investigates the neighborhood for a more in depth story, he discovers that it isn't rats eating the elderly residents of Roosevelt Heights.  It is actually a Rakshasa, a Hindu demon able to disguise itself as the person the victim most trusts.  Good thing it is Carl Kolchak that has to face off against it, because Carl doesn't trust anybody, or does he?

This is it, this is the one.  Horror in the Heights, Kolchak the Night Stalker's eleventh episode, is the series most beloved.  There is not a Kolchak fan that doesn't consider the episode to be the series high water mark.  The big reason  Horror is so effective is probably due to its writer, Jimmy Sangster.  Sangster is known to most science-fiction, fantasy and horror fans as the author of many of Hammer Films most famous movies, X-The Unknown, The Curse of Frankenstein, and The Horror of Dracula, to name just a very few.  The script that Sangster penned is the series most dramatically solid, building to a tense climax that is arguably the most memorable of all twenty episodes.  Sangster also manages the impressive trick of taking the show's formula and presenting it in a manner that feels truly fresh.  Director Michael T. Caffey wrings as many chills and laughs from Sangster's script as he can, and there are a lot to found in it.  Caffey, like Gordon Hessler on The Spanish Moss Murders, gives this episode a cinematic feel.  Horror in the Heights deserves every bit of its "Best Of Show" hype.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 10 - The Energy Eater (12/13/74)

When Kolchak investigates a series of accidents and deaths at the newly constructed Lakeshore Hospital, he finds that a Native American "Bear-God" named Matchemonedo is responsible.

Lumping the tenth episode of Kolchak the Night Stalker with the series indisputable highlights, The Spanish Moss Murders and Horror in the Heights, might seem odd.  The show lacks both a memorable monster, no doubt because it is invisible (the series second time doing this), and an impressive final round with Kolchak himself.  Kolchak keeps Matchemonedo at bay with a fire extinguisher before the authorities pump liquid nitrogen into the hospital basement.

Wait a minute, you might be thinking, the authorities handle the monster?  Yes, they do.  The Energy Eater is the only episode of the series where Kolchak proves the existence of the monster to the authorities and, as a result, they act upon that evidence.  Of course, this being Kolchak, things do not go to Carl's benefit.  It may not be as a disastrous double cross as the one that ended The Night Stalker movie, but Carl is still left out in the cold.  Better luck next time.

Making up for the lack of a visible monster, save for a memorable partial glimpse of an eye in a collage of photographs, The Energy Eater beefs up the role of its guest stars.  Tough guy actor William Smith delights as the smooth talking ladies man, and Indian Shaman, Jim Elkhorn, while Elaine Giftos charms as Nurse Janis Ivy.

The Energy Eater might suffer when compared with the episodes it is sandwiched between, The Spanish Moss Murders and Horror in the Heights, both of which are far superior, but it is one of the series more imaginative entries.  That should count for something.

Trivia: The Energy Eater was removed from the Kolchak the Night Stalker syndication package and spliced together with Firefall to form a "new" Kolcahk TV movie for syndication, entitled Crackle of Death.  To better the illusion that the two episodes were a linked story, the editors created a continuity error.  The doppelganger from Firefall is placed in one of The Energy Eater's early attack scenes.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 9 - The Spanish Moss Murders (12/06/74)

"Well, all of his dreams, and his nightmares, are over...I hope."

Two seemingly random deaths are in fact connected; each corpse was covered with Spanish moss.  Kolchak's dogged search for the meaning behind the odd clue in each case leads him to a sleep test subject whose childhood nightmare has come alive.

Kolchak the Night Stalker reached its creative apex with episode nine, The Spanish Moss Murders, and the two episodes that directly followed it, The Energy Eater and Horror In The Heights.  No other episodes in the series run got better than these three; they are the cream of the monster of the week crop.

Just about everything in The Spanish Moss Murders works beautifully.  The monster Peremalfait is a truly original one, the viewer gets to see both the friendly and testy sides of Carl and Tony's working relationship, McGavin's acting is absolutely perfect, and the guest cast is arguably the best the series had.  Keenan Wynn is hilarious as Captain of the week Joe Siska, a man who has all of his anger management progress in Group Therapy utterly destroyed by Kolchak's prying.  Severn Darden also provides some choice humor as the stuffy scientist Aaron Pollack.  From Siska telling Kolchak that Group Therapy did not prepare him for somebody as "un-okay" as Carl, to Pollack telling Kolchak, "Well you can take your article and rotate on it," The Spanish Moss Murders is filled with a delicious, bubbling gumbo of funny lines and acting chemistry.  The contribution of director Gordon Hessler cannot be ignored either; he gives the episode a real cinematic look.  Put it all together and its magic, which is why The Spanish Moss Murders is my favorite Kolchak episode.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 8 - Bad Medicine (11/22/74)

"Dr. Temple, I seek information about Indians.  Now I don't know the difference between a Chippewa and a Chippendale."

A string of suspicious deaths and missing jewels leads Kolchak to the lair of the Diablero, a powerful Indian sorcerer.

Bad Medicine was, during its syndicated run on CBS late night, one of the few Kolchak the Night Stalker episodes that did not do that much for me.  I guess it was the seemingly sedate manner of the Diablero's attacks, which seemed to consist of some animals walking into a room prior to Richard Kiel staring at somebody.  Not the stuff of high excitement to an eleven year old staying up past his bedtime.  Needless to say, I appreciate it a lot more as an adult, because I get the jokes and notice the nice touches that director Alex Grasshoff brought the episode.  My favorite is the attack on a woman in the back of a limousine, when the Diablero's appearance is artfully revealed on a closing window.  A variation of the three way phone gag, which was so effective in The Zombie, is repeated here, with Carl, Miss Emily, and Ron Updyke; the joke being at Ron's expense, of course.  The only part of the episode I find hard to watch is the scene where Kolchak tries to connive his way into an invitation only gem auction.  I don't much care for humiliation comedy, so I alternate between covering my eyes and plugging my ears when that particular scene comes up.  Other than that, Bad Medicine is another solid episode, benefiting from some good comedy and a unique monster.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 7 - The Devil's Platform (11/15/74)

"Why can't the People's Candidate be like the rest of us?  Timid, Insecure and lazy."

Kolchak discovers that the most popular candidate in the race for a Senate seat has Old Nick for his campaign manager.  (Insert Karl Rove joke here.)

Watching The Devil's Platform, I could not stop from wondering how much this 1974 TV program might have influenced the 1976 thriller, The Omen and its sequels; what with the shared plot device of mysterious accidents clearing the path of a charismatic young man ascending to the very top of American political power and a large, vicious dog that carries out some of his dirty work.  The dog is even the same breed as the demon dog in The Omen, a Rottweiler.  Of course, it could also very well be a coincidence.

Kolchak the Night Stalker's seventh episode continues the series upswing in story quality.  The Devil's Platform's most refreshing change of pace is the absence of a Captain of the week.  This gives Carl the chance to verbally spar with Vincenzo a bit more than he had in some of the previous episodes.  The structuring of the mystery also keeps guest star Tom Skerrit, playing the candidate Robert Palmer, whose popularity in the polls is of a supernatural origin, pretty much separated from Kolchak until the episode's conclusion.  But the confrontation between the two is worth the build-up.  Palmer's seductive offer is Carl's heart's true desire, a job at a New York paper (with a Pulitzer thrown in for good measure).  Every serious Kolchak fan knows that Carl wants knowing more than to get back his job at a New York newspaper.  He talked about it incessantly in The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler ended with Kolchak and Vincenzo driving from Seattle all the way to New York.  While Old Nick's offer is a tempting one, Kolchak knows it isn't worth the price and another desperate battle against the forces of darkness must be fought.

The episode's only weakness is the rather lackluster dog attacks, which lack real bite.  That small quibble aside, The Devil's Platform is one of the series better episodes.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 6 - Firefall (11/08/74)

When an esteemed symphony conductor cuts off a funeral procession in traffic, the artisan becomes the focus of the angry spirit of the murdered arsonist being buried.  The spirit becomes the man's doppelganger, incinerating those closest to him in their sleep, so it can take over the conductor's body unnoticed.  Kolchak's constant prying into the nature of the mysterious deaths quickly makes him a target.  Now he has to stay awake long enough to figure out a way to save the conductor and send the spirit back to its proper grave.

Kolchak's first case back in the windy city, after his trips to Los Angeles and the Pacific Ocean (in The Vampire and The Werewolf, respectively), is a winner.  A solidly built story with a unique monster, Firefall gives McGavin some juicy scenes to play when Kolchak begins to fall apart from the fatigue of staying awake for over fifty-two hours straight.  It also benefits from giving Jack Grinnage's fussy Ron Updyke his most substantive amount of screen time since The Ripper.  Coming off the lackluster Werewolf, Firefall is a real breath of fresh air.

TRIVIA:  Firefall was one of four episodes dropped from Kolchak the Night Stalker's syndication package.  Only sixteen of the series twenty episodes aired during its runs on CBS late night and, years later, the Sci-Fi channel.  Firefall was spliced together with episode ten, The Energy Eater, and shown as a television movie titled Crackle of Death.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 5 - The Werewolf (11/01/74)

"Mr. Kolchak won't win any prizes for his photography, but his subject is certainly startling."

When a surprise visit by the main office accountants cancels Vincenzo's planned "working vacation" on the final voyage of the ocean liner Hanover, Kolchak is sent instead.  That turns out to be a very good thing, because a fellow passenger just happens to be a werewolf.

Carl Kolchak took only two trips out of the windy city during his brief tenure at the Independent News Service's Chicago office.  The Vampire sent the reporter to Los Angeles, while The Werewolf had him on the high seas.  The Vampire was the better trip.

Filmed on the dry docked Queen Mary, The Werewolf suffers from a story that just doesn't pick up any real steam, despite the novelty of its setting.  Perhaps this is due to the fact that not one of the characters Kolchak meets and interacts with is an actual part of the episode's monster story.  This disconnect keeps the events of the story from gelling and playing out smoothly.  Most of the humor falls flat and the action seems contrived.

That's not to say that the episode is a complete and utter wash out.  There is some fine banter with Richard Gautier's energetic swinger, Mel Tartar, and Nita Talbot's character Paula makes for a game girl Friday, helping Kolchak out with his investigation in anyway that she can.  The in joke irony of Ms. Talbot's last name is not lost on me, either.  Henry Jones' ship's Captain is a nice change of pace from the now standard police captain of the week, but he doesn't get nearly enough time to play off of McGavin.  Even worse, there isn't a single scene wherein Kolchak attempts to actually talk to Bernardt Stieglitz (Eric Braeden), the werewolf's tortured human side.

The Werewolf is just dead in the water.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 4 - The Vampire (10/04/74)

"This vampire didn't come from Transylvania, it came from Las Vegas."

Kolchak connives his way into a trip to Los Angeles when he hears that dead bodies, drained of blood, are being found along the highway that leads from Las Vegas to the City of Angels.

Kolchak's fourth episode is one of the series very best.  Catherine Rollins (played by Suzanne Charney) makes for a terrific monster, growling and hissing like an angry cat whenever she attacks, which is pretty frequently.  Her battle with Kolchak also contains what is probably the series most memorable image, a burning cross atop the hills of Los Angeles.  William Daniels as Lt. Jack Matteo is also one of the better cop-of-the-week guest stars, the expression on his face as he looks at Kolchak in aftermath of the battle is simply wonderful.  Sadly Kathleen Nolan, as Faye Kruger, the real estate agent that Carl tricks into writing the article he's supposed to for him, isn't given that much to do.  Her character is really that of straight girl, someone to both set up and have the episode's jokes bounce off of.

The Vampire is a big step up from They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be... and the episode is the only one of the series that makes any connection to the television movies that preceded it.  While the script by David Chase (of The Sopranos fame and who also wrote The Zombie) is layered with some great humor, it stumbles in making a more solid connection to Carl and Tony's back story.  When Matteo makes Kolchak speak with Vincenzo via telephone at a crime scene, there is a wonderful opportunity for Carl to talk with Tony about the murder without really talking about it.  All he need do is make reference to Las Vegas and a certain vampire's name.  But the script does not do this.  While it is not a crippling omission for the episode to make, it is a disappointing one nonetheless.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 3 - They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be... (9/27/74)

"It would seem that somebody ate the marrow and threw up."

Kolchak discovers that several different stories he is investigating are actually linked by a force that is, literally, out of this world.

They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be... never did much for me during its CBS late night syndication run, perhaps that is due to the fact that the alien is invisible.  While it certainly is an entertaining enough outing for Kolchak and the gang, it is not one of the series better episodes, lacking any really memorable moments.  The whole thing is just kind of blah.  Guest star James Gregory, the captain of the week, most famous for his appearance in The Manchurian Candidate and as a semi-regular on the sitcom Barney Miller, looks like he's on a bender for most of the episode.  One particular problem that hobbles They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be... is the ridiculous ease that Kolchak has in finding the UFO.  But there is a lot of fun to be had in watching Kolchak get his promised World Series ticket out of Ron "And you call me 'Uptight'" Updyke, then missing the game as he chases down various leads via some humorous interviews.

About that humor.  There isn't a Kolchak fan out there that is not aware of just how acrimonious the relations between star Darren McGavin and the producers of the show were.  Paul Playdon left the show after producing only two episodes, The Ripper and The Zombie.  Cy Chermak, future producer of CHiPs, replaced Playdon, but the working relationship with McGavin remained contentious, and the actor reportedly took control of the set.  They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be... was the first episode produced by the new team, clearly showing the direction the episodes to come would take.  (Trivia: All twenty episodes were aired in the exact same order that they were made.)

While both The Ripper and The Zombie had their humorous moments, the over all tone of the episodes was serious.  They were meant to scare, and they did.  The tone of They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be... is much more overtly comedic, a direction that McGavin was insistent that the show take.  More laughs, less scares.  So there's not a single scare to be found anywhere in the episode, but there is plenty of comedy.  Kolchak's visit to a UFO Society meeting, where a woman in a silly hat tells of an outlandish close encounter, is an excellent example of the broad comedy that would eventually overtake the show and practically have it making fun of itself by the final episode, The Sentry.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 2 - The Zombie (9/20/74)

"The black guy we're going to schlep?  We had him in here last week."

Kolchak becomes suspicious when the body of a dead Haitian turns up at more than just one syndicate (a.k.a. mafia) murder scene.

As fun and frightening as Kolchak's first episode was, I have to say that I think The Zombie is much better.  It has something that The Ripper lacked, scenes of Kolchak actually investigating the story.  The Zombie is mostly Kolchak chasing down the various clues and leads, conducting numerous interviews, and working his way towards the inevitable face off with the monster of the week. 

The second episode also introduces another comedic thorn for Carl's side, Monique Marmelstein (Carol Ann Susi), cherished niece of INS higher up Abe "The Smiling Cobra" Marmelstein.  Tony forces Carl to take Monique on as a partner, the assignment leading to some choice dialog between Kolchak and the always suffering Vincenzo.  The best bit is a hilarious three way phone conversation where Tony thinks he is taking with Carl, but Kolchak is actually talking to morgue informant Gordie the Ghoul (the late John Fiedler).

The title monster has to rest in a "place of the dead," and the location the episode comes up with is a truly inspired one.  One that predates Freddy Krueger's Dream Warriors era stomping grounds by a good thirteen years.  Personally I think that Carl climbing into the back of that hearse to pour salt into the zombie's mouth and then sew its lips shut is far more frightening than The Ripper's hiding in the closet scene.  McGavin really sells the terror Kolchak is feeling at that moment, which is what made the character so human as well as heroic.  Carl had no problem whatsoever with screaming his lungs out while running away from the monster as fast as he could.

The Zombie is an excellent example of how well Kolchak's monster of the week format could work, if given the chance.

Kolchak the Night Stalker - Episode 1 - The Ripper (9/13/74)

"All these guys operate the same way, almost as if they were the same man."

A killer that copies the infamous Jack the Ripper down to the last detail , like many throughout history, terrorizes the windy city.  When Carl Kolchak sees just how unstoppable the killer is, he begins to suspect that the Ripper imitators have, in fact, all been the same man.

The Ripper debuted on, appropriately enough, Friday the 13th and it did a fair job of setting the tone of the series that would follow.  Lots of Kolchak wisecracks, shouting matches between Kolchak and Vincenzo over something or other, and a guest star police captain for Kolchak to annoy with his paranormal theories.  Another plus is Jack Grinnage's first appearance as the fussy Ron Updyke, or Uptight, as Kolchak likes to call him.  His stumbling onto a massage parlor crime scene is simply hilarious.  Rudolph Borchert's script does a decent job of echoing the snappy dialog of the Richard Matheson scripted The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler.  There is some really great banter between Kolchak and some uniformed police officers.  "NO I'M NOT THAT WAY EITHER!"

The down side of The Ripper is that it sticks too close to the narrative structure of the television movies that proceeded it.  Kolchak witnessing the Ripper tossing uniformed police officers around like rag-dolls, then later sneaking around the Ripper's decrepit house in Wilton Park, are just repetitions of events already overly familiar from both The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler.  But those weaknesses don't stop The Ripper from being one of the series most frightening episodes.

Kolchak the Night Stalker (Series Set)

INS (Independant News Service) reporter Carl Kolchak (Darren McGavin) frustrates his editor, Tony Vincenzo (Simon Oakland), his co-workers, and everybody else he happens to meet as he investigates the, quite literally, monstrous truth behind the bizarre stories he finds on his regular beat.

First the good news, all twenty episodes of the short lived Kolchak - The Night Stalker TV series are finally available on DVD.  Now the bad news, Universal has done absolutely nothing with them.  The shows haven't even been remastered or cleaned up in any perceptible way.  But they have been darkened to give the show a 'moodier' look it never had.  Kolchak was about Carl's wise mouthed hunt for the truth, not creepy atmosphere.  I felt like I needed a flashlight for some of the now murky night scenes.  Making things worse is the utter lack of bonus features.  No documentaries, no commentaries or interviews with surviving cast and crew, no promo clips from the era of its broadcast.  No nothing.  What is considered by many to be one of the best, most influential genre shows of the seventies gets dumped onto DVD as a quick cash-in for ABC's in-name-only Night Stalker series remake.  What gives?

Universal has a long and distinguished genre career, the studio practically invented the modern monster movie in the 1930s for Pete's sake.  Their film library is a literal who's who of legendary creatures of the night.  Yet their Classic Monsters and other beloved genre offerings (Night Gallery anyone?) are treated like so much dirt.  Tossed off for a quick buck with what seems to be no thought whatsoever about preserving the movies, much less treating them with anything that remotely resembles respect.  That's just sad.  Carl, the Gallery, and the Classic Monsters all deserve far better than this.