Chadzilla ROARS!!! (The Official Blog of Chadwick H. Saxelid, Writer)

The Best and Worst Movies of 2011

Another year, another list.

The Best:

1.  Super: Writer/director James Gunn's dark comedy was the most heartfelt and bittersweet viewing experience of the year for me.  Gunn's movie left me with a smile on my face, a glow in my heart, and even a tear in my eye.  Although the film certainly had its flaws, it was also perfect in its own idiosyncratic way.

2.  Midnight in Paris:  Woody Allen returns to form with this warm and lush love letter to the romantic mystique that is Paris and its rich artistic history.

3.  Troll Hunter:  You can keep Super 8, I will take this far superior Norwegian monster movie instead, okay?

4.  The First Grader: When the Kenyan government offers free education to all, an 84 year old man demands to attend primary school, so that he may learn how to read.  A touching and inspiring look at just how important it is to have an education.

5.  Melancholia:  Lars von Trier's "beautiful movie about the end of the world" really isn't either of those things.  What the film truly is, is a haunting examination (both literally and figuratively) of the effects of depression and the callousness of Life.

6.  Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy:  A truly thrilling spy thriller overflowing with wonderful performances from a talented cast.

7.  Hugo:  Not the children's (or family) film that Paramount marketed it as, but a truly breath taking and exilirating look at the birth and power of cinema.

8.  The Way:  I can still find the scars that Wisdom, Emilio Estevez's so-bad-it's-almost-good writing/directing debut, left on my movie watching pscyhe, so I will admit to being more than a bit hesitant about seeing this on the big screen.  But I did and I am glad that I did.  The Way turned out to be a touching and intelligent look at coming to terms with grief and belief.

9.  Win Win:  This small and bittersweet comedy manages to be an almost perfect blend of the bitter and the sweet.  A touching examination of the cost of doing either the wrong thing for the right reason and doing the right thing for the wrong reason.

10.  The Descendants:  George Clooney and the rest of the cast gave powerful performances in this heartbreaking drama about a man (Clooney) confronting the numerous painful revelations and decisions in the wake of his wayward wife's fatal accident.  Having been there and done that, I think the movie hits every single beat dead center.

Honorable Mentions:  Beginners; A Dangerous Method.

2011's Biggest Cinematic Guilty Pleasure: Drive Angry.

The Worst:

1.  The Tree of Life: A ponderous and intellectually vacuous piece of existentialist garbage.  Yes, it's the Book of Job, I get it.

2.  Vanishing on 7th Street: Who would have thought that the dark and the unknown could be so boring?

3.  Rubber: What I expected to see was a playfully absurd horror-comedy about a killer tire, but what I actually wound up seeing was a condescending rant about how utterly worthless the people that would want to a movie about a killer tire are.  No thanks.

4.  Creature: I am quite proud of the fact that I managed to see the second biggest cinematic flop in box office history on the big screen, on opening day.  But that dubious bragging right does not make up for my being bored in the Bayou while watching this Syfy Original level swamp creature feature.

5.  The Darkest Hour:  I do not know who had the bright idea to make a carbon copy of Skyline set in Moscow, but that person needs to stop making movies.

6.  Season of the Witch: Nicolas Cage sleepwalks through a crappy rip-off of Army of Darkness.  I had hoped that this movie would be a campy Guilty Pleasure on a par with Drive Angry.  It wasn't.

7.  Sucker Punch: A complete and utter cinematic train wreck from the shallow mind of Zack Synder.

8.  The Green Hornet:  Actor and co-screenwriter Seth Rogen took a classic hero and made him into an unlikable lout who had me rooting for the bad guys to win.

9.  30 Minutes Or Less:  A painfully unfunny attempt at screwball comedy that features a group of unlikable bozos behaving in a hateful and/or goofy manner.

10.  The Thing:  Part prequel to John Carpenter's The Thing, part remake of it, and a complete and utter train wreck from its needlessly over-the-top beginning to its intelligence insulting ending.  Like the equally awful Creature, the new Thing's script, writing, and acting were all on the level of a Syfy Channel Original.

Dishonorable Mentions:  I Am Number Four; Battle: Los Angeles; Shark Night 3D.

Best and Worst of 2010 revisions

There are issues with making a best and worst list before the true end of the year, but I did so and thus missed placing two deserving movies upon those lists.  So here is my revised list of the best and worst of 2010:

The Best Movies of 2010:

1. Inception: I haven't been this swept up in a movie in years.  A fantastic and thrilling journey into the realm of dreams that works on multiple levels.

2. Black Swan: An intense psychological drama seasoned with horror movie flavoring, Black Swan features a truly incredible performance by Natalie Portman as an emotionally troubled ballet dancer that taps into her repressed dark side.

3. Best Worst Movie: This documentary alternates between being hilarious and being harrowing.  It not only provides an entertaining look into the idolatry of bad movies and the people that have made them, but also gives the audience an unflinching look at the emotional cost of pursuing broken dreams.

4. Shutter Island: While Inception was about achieving a positive emotional release via dreams, Shutter Island is the nightmarish alternative, wherein no positive emotional release can be achieved and life becomes nothing but a waking nightmare.  I will go so far as to argue that they tell the same story, only from different points of view.

5. The Ghost Writer: Roman Polanski crafted a stellar suspense drama about the cost of learning dark and deadly secrets that are best kept buried.

6. The Kids Are All Right: Beautifully acted and painful in its emotional honesty, The Kids Are All Right is a heart wrenching illustation of the painful lesson to always be very careful of what you wish for, because you just might get it.

7. The Town: A superlative heitst thriller with an emotionally complicated love story for a dramatic anchor, this film should nab Ben Affleck an Oscar nomination for directing.  He certainly deserves one.

8. The King's Speech: I will wager good money that Colin Firth receives a very much deserved Best Actor Oscar for his brilliant turn as an insecure and stammering Duke that, very reluctantly, becomes King.  Geoffrey Rush gives an equally solid performance as the commoner that helps the Duke overcome that pesky stammer.  A great (and I do mean great) feel good movie.

9. Monsters: By pushing all the traditional monster movie bombast and over-the-top spectacle to the side, Monsters became a touching drama about the human ability to both adapt and to learn.

10. Megamind: While others will no doubt be praising Toy Story 3, I thought that Megamind was funnier, sweeter, and, best of all, the most true to the story format comic book parody I have seen to date.

Honorable Mention(s): Mother; La Mission; Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale; True Grit.

The Worst:

1. Paranormal Activity 2: There was no lightning caught in the bottle the second time around in this supernatural thriller that committed the unpardonable crime of being frighteningly boring.

2. The Black Waters of Echo's Pond: What could have been a fun night of monster wrestling (think Jumanji, but with monsters) instead becomes an insufferable endurance contest of watching and waiting for unlikeable characters to become possessed by their innner evil, or the game, or something, so they can then kill each other off.  This was the first movie that I have ever sat through where the rest of the audience got up and walked out long before the movie was even half over.

3. Tron: Legacy: I have never seen the first Tron, but Tron: Legacy was such a contemptible waste of my viewing time that it assures I never will.

4. Predators: How is it that fans can make entertaining spin-offs, but actual film makers can do nothing more than make the exact same movie over and over and over?  A complete and utter waste of what once looked to be a terrific franchise.

5. Saw 3D: Whether or not this is the final chapter is as meaningless as the moral lessons that Jigsaw proclaims himself to be teaching.  I won't be wasting my money on this garbage any more.

6. The Book of Eli: The 700 Club version of Mad Max.  Really. 

7. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: Awful.  Simply awful.  Just kill me.

8. The Sorcerer's Apprentice: Wow, it has been awhile since I have seen a move that was as phoned in as this one was.  Not a single person involved in making The Sorcerer's Apprentice cared about it, and it shows.

9. Piranha 3D: Although Piranha 3D was about what I expected it to be, I somehow expected it to be more than it turned out to be.

10. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus: Great to look at, but also incoherent and confusing.  What happend to the brilliant director of Brazil?

Dishonorable Mention(s):  The Crazies.

Okay, there you have it.  My revised and COMPLETE listing of what I thought were the year's best and worst movies.  Opinions do vary, so feel free to discuss and argue my choices.

The Best and the Worst Movies of 2010

Happy New Year!

Wow, another year has already come and gone.  They sure are zipping by so fast now.  Aren't they?  As with any given year, there were many highs and lows for me.  None of the lows are worth sharing in so public a forum, but the highest of highs was my getting married to the most awesome woman.  Now I truly understand the meaning of the phrase "soul mate."  I cannot conceive of being with anyone other than her.

But I am not here to post about my personal ups and downs.  No, this is supposed to be my annual list of this year's movie going highs and lows for me.  As I have for the last few years, I have limited the list only to films that were released theatrically in the United States in the year 2010.  I may not have seen them all on the big screen, but all of them did get some kind of theatrical play.

Here are the best and the worst of what I have sat through:

The Best Movies of 2010:

1. Inception: I haven't been this swept up in a movie in years.  A fantastic and thrilling journey into the realm of dreams that works on multiple levels.

2. Black Swan: An intense psychological drama seasoned with horror movie flavoring, Black Swan features a truly incredible performance by Natalie Portman as an emotionally troubled ballet dancer that taps into her repressed dark side.

3. Best Worst Movie: This documentary alternates between being hilarious and being harrowing.  It not only provides an entertaining look into the idolatry of bad movies and the people that have made them, but also gives the audience an unflinching look at the emotional cost of pursuing broken dreams.

4. Shutter Island: While Inception was about achieving a positive emotional release via dreams, Shutter Island is the nightmarish alternative, wherein no positive emotional release can be achieved and life becomes nothing but a waking nightmare.  I will go so far as to argue that they tell the same story, only from different points of view.

5. The Ghost Writer: Roman Polanski crafted a stellar suspense drama about the cost of learning dark and deadly secrets that are best kept buried.

6. The Kids Are All Right: Beautifully acted and painful in its emotional honesty, The Kids Are All Right is a heart wrenching illustation of the painful lesson to always be very careful of what you wish for, because you just might get it.

7. The Town: A superlative heitst thriller with an emotionally complicated love story for a dramatic anchor, this film should nab Ben Affleck an Oscar nomination for directing.  He certainly deserves one.

8. Monsters: By pushing all the traditional monster movie bombast and over-the-top spectacle to the side, Monsters became a touching drama about the human ability to both adapt and to learn.

9. Megamind: While others will no doubt be praising Toy Story 3, I thought that Megamind was funnier, sweeter, and, best of all, the most true to the story format comic book parody I have seen to date.

10. Mother: The director of The Host does Hitchcock proud with this murder mystery that becomes a shocking thriller about just how far a protective mother will go to both protect and save her son from persecution.

Honorable Mention(s): La Mission; Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale; True Grit.

The Worst:

1. Paranormal Activity 2: There was no lightning caught in the bottle the second time around in this supernatural thriller that committed the unpardonable crime of being frighteningly boring.

2. The Black Waters of Echo's Pond: What could have been a fun night of monster wrestling (think Jumanji, but with monsters) instead becomes an insufferable endurance contest of watching and waiting for unlikeable characters to become possessed by their innner evil, or the game, or something, so they can then kill each other off.  This was the first movie that I have ever sat through where the rest of the audience got up and walked out long before the movie was even half over.

3. Predators: How is it that fans can make entertaining spin-offs, but actual film makers can do nothing more than make the exact same movie over and over and over?  A complete and utter waste of what once looked to be a terrific franchise.

4. Saw 3D: Whether or not this is the final chapter is as meaningless as the moral lessons that Jigsaw proclaims himself to be teaching.  I won't be wasting my money on this garbage any more.

5. The Book of Eli: The 700 Club version of Mad Max.  Really. 

6. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: Awful.  Simply awful.  Just kill me.

7. The Sorcerer's Apprentice: Wow, it has been awhile since I have seen a move that was as phoned in as this one was.  Not a single person involved in making The Sorcerer's Apprentice cared about it, and it shows.

8. Piranha 3D: Although Piranha 3D was about what I expected it to be, I somehow expected it to be more than it turned out to be.

9. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus: Great to look at, but also incoherent and confusing.  What happend to the brilliant director of Brazil?

10. The Crazies: Skip this "official" remake of the Romero classic and just stick with the original and/or its un-official remake, Impulse.  Both are far better than this b-grade schlock from the director of Sahara.

Well, that's it.  365 days and who knows how many movies, and it all boils down to just this?  Maybe 2011's will be longer, or, perhaps, shorter.  We'll find out in a year.  Enjoy it.

The Best and Worst Movies of 2009

Wow, yet another year come and gone.  Here are the very best and the very worst of what I saw in 2009:

The Best Films of 2009:

#1.) Up: This year's best in show goes to Pixar's UP.  A movie that managed to be a trouching love story and hilarious kid's adventure at the same time.  I saw it three times on the big screen (a contemporary record for me) and each and every time I found myself tearing up and/or laughing out loud all over again, and again, and again.

#2.) The Hurt Locker: War is a drug and the lead character is a death defying junkie in this taunt and suspenseful war film from Kathryn (Point Break) Bigelow.  Hopefully it will be remembered come Oscar time.

#3.) Inglourious Basterds: Quentin Tarantino pays "homage" to The Dirty Dozen and countless other war and/or assorted genre films, all the while serving up a powerful story that packs an emotional and wish fulfillment wallop; one that could only work within Tarantino's unique storytelling style.

#4.) Moon: Sam Rockwell delivers an outstanding performance in this "soft" science-fiction thriller that is an excellent reminder that the genre can be so much more that zapping laser guns and exploding space ships.

#5.) The Blind Side: Writer/Director John Lee Hancock keeps Sandra Bullock's Oscar bait movie from sliding into melodrama, and thus crafts one of the best family/sport movies of the last few years.

#6.) Avatar: James Cameron made a triumphant return to space opera with this mega-budgeted and eye popping adventure that does a far better job of whisking viewers away to the Land of Big Make Believe (and I do mean BIG) than the three Star Wars prequels combined.

#7.) Coraline: Forget the so-called Fantastic Mr. Fox, the year's best stop motion picture was this thrilling adaptation of Neil Gaiman's popular YA novel, although it was a tad too familiar to Clive Barker's equally excellent The Thief of Always for my taste. 

#8.) Taking Woodstock:  Ang Lee recreates both the Summer of Love and the magic of Woodstock, elevating a young man's coming to awareness of self story to something that is truly special and almost timeless.

#9.) Whip It: Drew Barrymore's directing debut was both an energetic Roller Derby flick AND a touching examination of the pains of not only growing up, but of growing into who you are.

#10.) Me and Orson Welles: A love letter to all things theater and an entertaining recreation of Orson Welles creative genius.

The Worst Films of 2009:

#1.) Race to Witch Mountain:  Yet another one of those movies where an endless chase sequence is supposed to pass for a plot.  Race to Witch Mountain does get points for the most jawdropping WTF moment of the year, though...the utterly confusing and totally out of left field cameo by alien abductee author Whitley (The Wolfen, The Hunger) Strieber.  Huh?

#2.) The Final Destination: The only depth to this utterly soulless die-by-the-numbers splatter movie was the illusion provided by the optical effects department.  Yes, I enjoyed watching it, but that doesn't mean that the movie was actually good, only that it was so bad that it was entertaining.

#3.) Terminator Salvation:  Good grief, how do you muck up a sure to deliver action franchise like The Terminator?  Put McG and Christian "Hissy Fit from Hell" Bale in charge, that's how.

#4.) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: The second time around was bigger, louder, and dumber (not to mention far more blatantly racist) than the first time around.  But I sure liked all of the explosions and endless shots of Megan Fox running in slow motion.

#5.) Fame: A plastic movie about plastic stereotypes going through stereotyped situations that not once achieves any emotional depth.  One of the most banal films that it has been my displeasure to sit through in a movie theater.

#6.) The Unborn: David Goyer's entry into the Kid from Hell genre (I skipped the sick n' silly looking summertime entry that was Orphan) was heavy on the annoying jumps scares, heavier on the predictable cliches, and heaviest on the boredom.

#7.) Underworld: Rise of the Lycans: I haven't seen the first two entries in this monster-fantasy-romance series, and this plot-by-the-numbers entry sure as hell didn't make me want to.

#8.) Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel: Flat out the unfunniest and most painful family film that it was my displeasure to sit through in ages.  The last time that I sat through a movie that hurt this bad was Yu-Gi-Oh! - The Movie.

#9.) Land of the Lost: A children's show is turned into something akin to a Cheech & Chong movie.  Awful.

My Year at the Movies: 2008

It's starting to look like I will not be seeing another movie on the Big Screen until 2009, so that means it's time to whip out my list o' theatrical viewings, check it twice (perhaps even thrice, just to be sure I really think about the film that way) and lay out my choices for the great, the good, the mediocre, and the plain old ugly films of 2008.  Some of these I have already reviewed, some I will be discussing for the very first time, because, for the sake of my sanity and my need to simply have some free time, I have stopped reviewing every single frakking thing I watch or read.

Okay, let's break 2008 down.

The Best Film of 2008/My Favorite Film of 2008:

Let The Right One In : This Swedish film (soon to be utterly destroyed by an American remake) is not only a terrific vampire movie, it is also a touching love story.  A movie that literally knocked the wind out of me and delivered a soothing high that not even a controlled substance or an adult beverage is capable of doing.  Please, please, please see it.

The Great Stuff:

Burn After Reading : The Coen Brothers really delivered with this dark and mean Black Comedy.

Diary of the Dead : I'm a slut for Romero, and I know that fan opinion is sharply divided on this Dead Series Do-Over, but I loved, loved, loved it and am anxiously awaiting seeing what he has to offer in 2009.

Elegy : Sir Ben Kingsley, Penelope Cruz and a solid supporting cast delivered in this touching drama adapted from Philip Roth's The Dying Animal.

Persepolis : Marjane Satrapi's acclaimed graphic novels about growing up in pre and post revolution Iran became a truly wonderful animated movie.  One that is heartbreaking, heartwarming, harrowing, and hilarious.

Son of Rambow: Ah, the bittersweet insanity of youth.  Two very dysfunctional and troubled boys form a strong friendship as they attempt to make an amateur sequel to First Blood.  It's more than that, so very much more.

Timecrimes : Writer/director Nacho Vigalondo constructs an intricate time travel thriller that goes to some very dark places.  But the trip is so worth taking.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona : Woody Allen returned to form with this gorgeous looking comedy that ended with an oh-so-true-to-real-life emotional wallop.

The Good Stuff:

Appaloosa : Ed Harris brought Robert B. Parker's western novel to the big screen with understated power.

Cloverfield : This is one of the better giant monster attacks New York City movies out there.  But considering that the competition largely consists of three versions of King Kong and a bombastic and bloated remake of The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms disguised as a "reimagining" of Godzilla, then that really isn't saying too much.

The Dark Knight : Heath Ledger's daring turn as the Joker helped make this into a fanboy classic of epic proportions, but the dynamic performance didn't stop me from noticing that the movie was just too damn long and too damn cluttered for its own good.  Missed greatness by about a twenty minutes too long running time.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army : A sweet and funny fantasy adventure.

Incredible Hulk : Hulk Smash real good.

Iron Man : My vote for the best super hero movie of 2008, but it fell short of greatness by a noticeable margin as well.

Quantum of Solace : Daniel Craig was awesome, but this Bond adventure really didn't feel like a Bond Adventure.  It was just a solid action movie trying pass as one, and it failed.

Transporter 3 : This was a silly piece of trash, but sometimes that is all you need.

Tropic Thunder : Ben Stiller also returned to form with this funny action movie parody.

W : Oliver Stone's Bush Biopic was far better (and for more sympathetic to the incompetent boob) than it had any right to be.  Josh Brolin deserves an Oscar nod for his frighteningly accurate performance as the Commander In Chief.  Even if you hate Oliver Stone movies (and I do) or hate Bush (and I do) this movie is really worth seeing.

The Mediocre:

Death Race : How could a movie about weapon laden muscle cars blowing shit up be dull and uninvolving?  By having Paul W.S. Anderson make it, that's how.

The Happening : M. Night Shyamalan shit the cinematic bed again with this laughable disaster movie that does for green house gas what Irwin Allen's The Swarm did for Killer Bees.

Hell Ride : This biker movie revisit to exploitation glories past was filled with wonderfully excessive amounts of sex, violence, and motorcycles galore.  But writer/director Larry Bishop left out the heart, so the end result was rather lifeless.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull : All that build-up for a hollow, by-the-numbers "adventure movie."  Like Bishop, Lucasberg left out the heart, so the end result was, yet again, lifeless.

Punisher: War Zone : Sure I laughed my ass off, but that doesn't mean I was supposed to, nor does it mean that it makes the movie a good one.  Guilty pleasure, all the way.

The Spirit : Frank Miller also shit the cinematic bed with this noir-camp misfire that may or may not live on as a Flash Gordon style "cult classic."

Wall-E : Yeah, everybody fell all over themselves loving this robot love story that, if you look at it with a pair of truth goggles, isn't really a love story at all.  Great first act, but it falls apart horribly after that.

The Ugly:

Quarantine : This American remake of the Spanish horror sensation REC looks to have lost something in the translation.  An unfrightening display of talking props catching a form of "Super Rabies" and tearing each other apart.  Yawn. Worst move of the year.

Well, that is it, folks.  My year at the movies.  I'll sound-off on what I'm looking forward to seeing in 2009 in a day or two.

The Year in Movies: 2007

I don't know about you (how could I, really) but my year in movies had some impressive highs and some scarring lows.  It was also a year in which a great many films just slipped through my fingers.  I missed out on seeing Fido, Eagle Versus Shark, The King of Kong, Right At Your Door, I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With, Hatchet, 3:10 to Yuma, The Last Winter, Eastern Promises, The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep, There Will Be Blood, The Orphanage, and Wristcutters: A Love Story on the big screen.  Because of timing issues the last two films of 2007 I will be catching in on the big screen, Juno and Atonement, will not be listed here.  But I will be checking back to let you know where on the list they fall.

Remember, this is my list, not yours, and opinions do vary.  So buckle up and get ready, here's my year at the movies:

The Great:

Lars And The Real Girl:  There might have been bigger, louder and "better" movies this year, but this touching and bittersweet comedy was the one that walked away with my heart.  It's funny, sweet, and very, very smart.  My vote for the flat out best movie I saw this year.

No Country For Old Men: Everything that Lars was No Country is not.  It is also the darkest, bleakest, and most terrifying film noir I have seen in years.  I loved every minute of it.

The Girl Next Door: More of a coming of age story than yet another pointless entry in the "Torture Porn" genre it no doubt was unfairly lumped in with, Girl is a harrowing and blood-chilling look at just how awful people can be to each other, and just how easy it is for them to be made to be so.  This so deserved the substantive theatrical release it did not get.

The Mist: I waited 27 years to finally see a film adaptation of what is arguably Stephen King's best short novel and Frank (The Shawshank Redemption) Darabont knocked it out of the park.  A faithful and frightening piece of work, The Mist also contains the most emotionally devastating ending it has ever been my pleasure to be subjected to.

Bug: William Friedkin reminded critics and fans alike that he was a cinematic badass with this harrowing love story about two troubled souls slowly going mad.  If Ashley Judd isn't nominated for an Academy Award for her performance it only proves just how pointless those ego stroking statues really are.

Hot Fuzz: The Shaun of the Dead boys avoided the dreaded sophomore slump with this wry and witty satire of buddy cop flicks.  Best action movie of the year.

The Host: While far too many American (or Western) films focus on soulless spectacle this Korean monster movie did the exact opposite.  Quirky characters were its strength and, while it had its weak moments, it is a far better movie than the forthcoming American version could ever hope to be.

Mulberry Street: Wow, a Horrorfest entry made it on the best list.  Damn, who would have thought?  Nonetheless, this Mutant Rat People movie took The Host route and focused on its characters.  It also paid off nicely in its third act, becoming the best movie George Romero never made.

The Good:

You Kill Me: The amusing story of an alcoholic hitman's struggle to get sober while romancing a lovely lady on the streets of San Francisco.  Of all the middle of the road movies I have sat through this year, this was the most fun and, in terms of getting sober, flat out honest.  You want to watch a gangster movie?  She wants to watch a romantic comedy?  This is a great compromise flick to cuddle up and watch together, because it's both.

Crazy Eights: Short on plot, but long on atmosphere, this supernatural variation on And Then They Were None just caught me at the right moment.  If I had been in a different mood, I might have hated it.  But I didn't.

The Deaths of Ian Stone: Modest on atmosphere and a bit too long on exposition, this Horrorfest entry won me over with its touching Love Conquers All twist.  It's nothing classic, but might prove to be another cuddle up and watch together flick.

The Simpsons Movie: The Simpsons golden era being a thing of almost distant history, I went into the theater expecting something painful and was pleasantly surprised to find the film a modestly amusing affair.  I probably won't watch it a second time, though.

Reno 911! - Miami: I knew nothing of Reno: 911 when we went and saw this, but now I know it's one hilarious show.  One my son has become addicted to.  The movie recycles a lot of the show's gags, but it also comes up with some winning (and quite vulgar) routines of its own.  I probably will watch it a second time.

Ghost Rider: Yet another example of low expectations gifting me with some decent entertainment.  This one just screamed pain to me, but I was delighted to find that the movie was just a whole lot of frothy, campy fun.

TMNT: Yet another example of low expectations gifting me with some decent entertainment.  This one just screamed pain to me, but I was delighted to find that the movie was a whole lot of fun.  Wait, is there an echo in here?  ECHO!

Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End: It's far too big, too loud, and too plotless to be a "good" movie, but it didn't bore me.  Nor did it make me regret plopping down the cash for two matinee tickets.

These last few though, DAMN!

The UGLY:

Okay, I'm getting tired and I don't want to waste time coming up with pithy comments about these turkeys, so I'll keep it short and bitter.

Tooth And Nail: The world has run out of gas and is starving to death.  So has this movie's plot.

Alien Versus Predator: Requiem: Pointless, plotless and needlessly sadistic dreck packed with the most stupefying cast of undeveloped "characters" I have seen in a supposed studio movie.  This is just a Sci-Fi Channel original with decent effects, nothing more.

Primeval: Prime piece of evil shit is more like it.  It's another Sci-Fi Channel original stinking up theaters.

28 Weeks Later: It starts off okay, but gets stupid really, really fast.  I am so glad I didn't waste money seeing this crap on the big screen.

Spider-Man 3: I went in with high expectations and they were tortured and squashed mercilessly by this over-plotted and underwritten debacle that shows Sam Raimi should NEVER direct another Spider-Man movie again, ever.

30 Days of Night: Vampires suck, so did this movie.  After about thirty minutes, that is.

Grindhouse: Just because you love the exploitation movies of old doesn't mean you know how to make one yourself.  Now go make a real movie.

Black Sheep: Well, somebody wants to be the next Peter Jackson.  Trouble is, there currently IS a Peter Jackson.

Jimmy Carter-Man from Plains: Yes, Jimmy Carter is a nice guy and he's worked tirelessly for his fellow man/woman and for peace on Earth.  But this two hour documentary never digs down into the meat of the matter, the response to Carter's book controversial book Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid, or anything else.  We just watch Carter go from hotel to interview and back, sign a few books, and then go swimming...and that's all.

Sunshine: Yeah, I saw Dark Star and Event Horizon as well.  Do you have a POINT?

Transformers: A robot pisses on a guy.  This movie pissed on me.

Dragon Wars - D-War: The only ugly movie that I would willingly subject myself to again, just because it's so gleefully stupid it made me smile.  That is not an endorsement, however.

Unearthed: The only ugly movie that I would willingly subject myself to again, just because it's so gleefully stupid it made me smile.  That is not an endorsement, however.  Wait, didn't I just say that, or is there an echo in here?  ECHO!

Resident Evil - Extinction: The only ugly movie that I would willingly subject myself to again, just because it's so gleefully stupid it made me smile, sort of.  That is not an endorsement, how...CUT THAT OUT!

Saw IV: Uncle!  Uncle, I say!

Lake Dead: Just as stale the 1,000,000,000,000,000th time around as it was the 2nd.  I'd cry Uncle, but no one is listening.

My Year At The Movies: 2006

With only one weekend left in the year, and with only one movie (Pan's Labyrinth) left on my 2006 "See" list, I thought I would just go ahead and get my Best/Worst Movies of 2006 list out of the way.

The Cream of the Crop:  (In no particular order.)

Slither: Writer/director James Gunn delivered a monster movie that was every bit as nasty as it was funny.  I think it was the best monster movie I've seen since the first Tremors.

Monster House: I know that I was rather adamant in stating my opinion that this movie was blatantly "borrowing" elements from the work of Joe R. Lansdale (an opinion that I still hold) but it also "borrowed" elements from Ray Bradbury, as well as the ending of Quatermass and the Pit.  Somehow the concoction won me over, it's a fun "little" movie.  One that I look forward to watching every October.

Snakes on a Plane: It was exactly what all the parodies made it out to be, a brainless mash of disaster/action/when animals attack movie cliches spiced with one of the most popular movie lines in cinema history.  (So popular that it had to be spliced into the film after it had completed principal photography.)

Jesus Camp: Proof positive that real life will always be far more disturbing than whatever gruesome little phantasms clutter up horror movies and books.  If you have any concern whatsoever about the theocratic turn America has been taking, then you have to watch this documentary.  It's every bit as fascinating as it is depressing and disturbing.

Saw III: As gross and unpleasant as it could be at times, the third Saw movie in as many years didn't forget that what was happening had another layer of meaning.

Casino Royale: Bond, James Bond is back and better than ever.  A gritty, low tech reinvention that brings life back to what had become a cliche laden and self-parodying adventure series.

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny: This was one of those movies I went in expecting to hate, but I was delighted to find that is frakking hilarious.  The best musical comedy of its kind that I have seen since the first Blues Brothers movie.

The Middle of the Road: (Once again, in no particular order.)

Rocky Balboa: Sylvester Stallone delivers a surprisingly touching and uplifting populist movie that is a lot better than it has any right to be.  Yo, Adrian...he did it!

Night At The Museum: Ben Stiller sleep walks through what could have been a fun and Disneylike "Shopping Cart" movie.  Unfortunately it kind of sits there for most of its running time.  Dick Van Dyke and Mickey Rooney do sparkle in their supporting roles, though.  See it for them, if you must.

Black Christmas: This is a generic, and quite vicious, slasher movie that delights in hacking familiar faces to itty-bitty bits.  But it's nothing more than that.

Horrorfest:  While none of the "8 Films to Die For" were anything like the "too graphic/too disturbing" advertising hype promised, I still found six of the eight offerings entertaining enough to not make regret spending so much on tickets.  Those six were Reincarnation, Unrest, The Gravedancers, Penny Dreadful, Wicked Little Things, and Dark Ride.

Feast: A generic monster movie that has just as much right about it that it does wrong.  The result is a decent DVD rental, but nothing more.

An Inconvenient Truth: What could have been an important documentary about global warming becomes a documentary about Al Gore's concerns about global warming.  Considering its supposed subject matter, this documentary should have been a whole lot more than what it turned out to be.

Poseidon: Other than an upgraded and impressive capsizing sequence, this update of The Poseidon Adventure had nothing to offer.  But the upgrade was enough to win me over.  I'll probably be watching this one again...and again...and again.

Final Destination 3: The other movie from the creative team of Glen Morgan and James Wong was a mean spirited continuation, albeit in a far more morbidly humorous manner than their Black Christmas remake, of the Death Will Not Tolerate Being Foiled series that they created with the first Final Destination movie.

Hoodwinked: This was another movie I was certain would not work for me, but it did.  Go figure.

The Bottom of the Barrel: (Let them drop wherever they might fall.)

Bloodrayne: It might be Uwe Boll's best movie yet, but that isn't saying all that much.  Not bad enough to be entertaining, not good enough to be entertaining...it just sits there and exists.

The Shaggy Dog: Whoever let this dog out needs to be sent to the pound.

Silent Hill: I really wanted this movie to be good, but it wasn't.  It was just a bland recreation of cut scenes from the popular video game series.  Instead of getting sucked into the world of Silent Hill, I felt like I was watching someone play a video game - and if I have to have played one of the games to understand or appreciate what was happening on the screen, that means the filmmakers didn't do their job.

Open Season: I was writhing in my seat and begging for something funny to happen, anything funny.  Just one thing...didn't happen.

Horrorfest:  I know that critics sang their praises, but The Abandoned was just a padded out Twilight Zone episode that dragged horribly, just so that its twenty minute story would last an hour and a half.  The Hamiltons seemed to be attempting an interesting twist to the serial killer formula, but its twist was just another tired cliche.

Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror: This collection of poorly thought out horror splatstick was neither funny or scary.  It was just dumb.

And that is my movie going year in a nutshell.  Next year holds some promising stuff (or stuff I'm just looking forward to seeing): William Friedkin's psychological thriller Bug, George Romero's Diary of the Dead, the third Resident Evil movie, the Korean monster movie The Host, the killer crocodile movies Primeval and Rogue, The Transformers, Spider-Man 3, and one or two others that I have either forgotten, or just don't know about yet.  Hopefully it will be a good year.

Until next year...