Chadzilla ROARS!!! (The Official Blog of Chadwick H. Saxelid, Writer)

Marvel Mashes Marriage

Well, Marvel went and actually did it.  They erased Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson's marriage.  As the shock settles in all I have been able to think about it is..."Fuck you, Marvel.  Fuck you, very much."

That statement comes not from a Fan Boy, but from a widowed husband and father of a 13 year old boy.

I'm no Marvel Zombie, but I do (or did) read more Marvel books than DC...until now.  As of January 10th I made the decision and today, January 11th, I make the official announcement that I will no longer purchase any Marvel Comics products.  I'm even going as far as seriously thinking of just selling off all of the Marvel based stuff cluttering up my apartment.

Or maybe I should just throw it away, the way Marvel did a marriage that has lasted 21 years.  God (or Joe Quesada) forbid that fictional characters actually grow and under go the inevitable changes that a realistically depicted life would bring about.  Let's forget that these stories have some emotional heft to them, that a generation of readers (there are readers of Spider-Man that have only known a married Peter Parker) are left feeling like two of their best friends have gotten a divorce.  Intellectually I can understand the need for conflict.  Conflict is the engine that drives stories.  But emotionally I wonder what this says about human relationships.  That they are disposable, meaningless, and can be walked away from and forgotten.  Made to have never existed.

I'm just a reader and not even a regular one.  I knew this development was coming, so I was already avoiding Spider-Man books on general principle.  But now that the moment has arrived I cannot believe the depth of my anger over the treatment of two fictional characters.  Yes, it's silly.  Yes, it's stupid.  Yes, I am far too emotional to rant about how much marriage means to me.  How much my own marriage meant to me...and how devestating the death of my wife was to me.  Hell, I'm still dealing with it and it's going on five fucking years.

But I don't have to deal with Marvel Comics.  So Joe Quesada, I'm not buying Marvel Comics for either myself or my son.  You're not getting any of my money.  I'm voting for the marriage to return in the only manner I can...with my wallet.

Until then, Fuck you.  Fuck you very, very much.

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

I caught Spider-Man 3 last night and I couldn't help but be a bit disappointed with the end result.

Yes, the movie is exciting.  (Physics?  We don't need no stinkin' Physics!)  Yes, the movie is funny.  (Bruce Campbell channels Inspector Clouseau's mangled French accent far better than Steve Martin did.)  Yes, the effects are stunning.  But the writing is lazy, the drama feels forced, and the movie is cluttered to the point that it doesn't seem to have a single narrative thread to move the characters from Point A to Point B and then shuffle them over to Point C.  It's just an incoherent jumble of action and soap opera theatrics.  The legendary Drive-In Movie Critic Joe Bob Briggs put it best when he said, "Too much plot getting in the way of the story."

The weakest aspect of the film is it's supposed main villain, the Sandman.  The character is woefully underdeveloped and disappears from the film for such a long stretch of time that he could have been removed from the story entirely and no one would have noticed.  The screenwriter's didn't even try to integrate the character into the film's central story (which revolves around the symbiote, the corrupting influence of fame, and the simple fact the Peter Parker is a terrible boyfriend), the Sandman just shows up for some impressive action sequences and that's it.  Another example of the film's poor writing is the culmination of the Harry-versus-Peter arc, which plays out with a surprising lack of emotion, surprise, or even an intriguing plot twist or two.

So, my feelings about the film are mixed.  As entertaining a ride as it was, all the bombast and action could not stop it from feeling slapped together and stuffed with far too many ingredients, which made for an emotionally hollow viewing experience.

However, my son considers the movie to be the Greatest Cinematic Achievement of All Time.  So what does an old fart like me really know about cool ass comic book movies?

Spider-Man: Secret of the Sinister Six - by Adam-Troy Castro

Spider-Man and New York City have had barely enough time to recover from the Sinister Six's Day of Terror (the events of which unfold in the novel Revenge of the Sinister Six) when the Six unleash a deadly attack against a local conglomerate's research facility.  This assault is the final task in the Gentleman's terrifying plan to utterly destroy the city that never sleeps, as well as the web-slinger that tries so gallantly to protect it from harm.

Secret of the Sinister Six is an entertaining and action filled conclusion to the story that began with The Gathering of the Sinister Six (which I have yet to read) and continued through the aforementioned Revenge of the Sinister Six (which I have read).  As was the case with Revenge, Secret is just one long action sequence between Spidey and the various members of the Six (Dr. Octopus, The Vulture, The Chameleon, Mysterio, Electro, and Pity) in and above the continually trashed streets of New York City.  But the stakes are far higher this time around than they were during the mere distraction that was the Day of Terror.  The Gentleman has managed to get his hands on two items that, when used together, will effectively erase all of western civilization from New York City.  If that were not enough, Spidey is tormented by the mystery of the obviously troubled Pity.  Does she share a connection beyond that of the Gentleman's contemptible need to inflict painful revenge not only on those that have crossed (or merely annoyed) him, but their children as well?  Could Pity actually be Peter Parker's sister?  More importantly, can she be saved from the Gentleman's monstrous mind control?  Spidey's day long battle (in a fierce blizzard no less) has a bit more emotional punch to it than his usual super hero shenanigans.

Secret, like Revenge (and, I assume, The Gathering), is filled with references to other non-comic book related media. The novel's nods to Marathon Man, The Silence of the Lambs, and Scooby-Doo were the ones that stuck out for me, but I am sure that there were more than a few others.  This time around it didn't bother me quite as much, perhaps it was just my knowing what to expect from Castro's narrative when I cracked the book open.  As before the action packed story won me over and I think that Spider-Man's many fans will enjoy this finale to the Sinister Six trilogy.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man Volume 1: Derailed - by Peter David (Writer) & Mike Wieringo and Roger Cruz (Pencils)

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man Volume 1: Derailed gathers together the first three stories of the newly launched book.

First is the one-shot Web Log from Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #5:  The pathologically self-centered Vanna just wants to be left alone, but Spider-Man always seems to be battling bad guys nearby.  Just who does Spider-Man think he is trying to impress?

Next up is the two-parter Masks from Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #6-7:  Spidey thinks that the wrestling match in which he's agreed to face off against a luchador called El Muerto is simply for charity.  What he doesn't know is that a dark secret in El Muerto's past has raised the stakes far beyond a mere million dollar prize.

Closing out the collection is the three parter Jumping the Tracks from Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #8-10:  This is a reality bending and time twisting tale, involving future events, alternate universes, and the insane daughter of a future Spider-Man that is determined to erase the web slinger from each and every time line he has appeared in.

When I found out that Peter David was going to be writing an all new Spider-Man book, one filled with villains old and new, I got excited.  Then I picked up the first issue and discovered that its story, The Other, would be part of a multiple book crossover event.  Instead of tripling my comic book issue purchases, I decided to just wait for the trade.  It was worth it, Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man is one fun book.

David's predominantly sardonic sense of humor is perfectly suited for the character of Spider-Man.  Each of the stories in this volume is packed with plenty of laugh out loud moments, but none of them ever drift into out and out comedy.  David manages to balance the humor with the drama so effectively that they enhance each other, rather than hamper.  Although I'm leery of picking up yet another month-to-month book (I'm buying more than enough, thank you) I just know that I'm going to be making a habit of picking up the trade collections of Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.  It'll be time and money well spent.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #11: I Hate A Mystery Part 1 (of 3)

"Instead of wearing a big spider on my back...I've decided to paint this big honkin' target."

While removing his mask and revealing Spider-Man's true identity to the world might have been the noble, or at least legal, thing to do.  It has nonetheless made Peter Parker's once quiet life a thing of memory.  Hounded by press and protesters, Parker seriously considers resigning his teaching position.  His biggest fear, one shared by a crowd of protesting parents outside the school, is that his now public identity will put his students at risk.

That fear is not only justified, but prophetic.  One of Spidey's famous enemies wastes no time starting a fight at school...

I've kind of avoided the whole Civil War thing, it's just doesn't really interest me all that much.  But, what with a new Spider-Man movie coming out and Peter Parker now having to adjust to a new way of life where everybody knows who their Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man really is, I decided to take a risk and pick-up one of the many Spider-Man books out there.  (Does it seem like there is something like 112 different Spider-Man books to choose from, or is just me?)  There were other factors in my decision, of course.  It was a light release week, it's Peter David's book, and the line seems to have only a tenuous connection with that whole Civil War thing.

I could not have picked a better Spider-Man issue to read.  I Hate A Mystery Part One offers an intoxicating mix of big laughs (and I'm talking the toss your head back and laugh at the ceiling kind) and suspenseful action.  Peter Parker definitely picked the wrong day to quit his job.  Yesterday would have been a better time to do it.  Now things are going from bad to worse, and they're just getting warmed up.  Because it's Mysterio Spidey's dealing with this time around, nothing is as it seems to be and I am sure that plenty of surprising plot twists are in store for both Spidey and his readers.  Big laughs, too.

Spider-Man: Revenge of the Sinister Six - by Adam-Troy Castro

A mysterious figure known only as The Gentleman gathers together Doc Ock, The Vulture, Electro, Mysterio and The Chameleon to form a new Sinister Six collective with which to torment Spider-Man and the city he defends.  The sixth member is Pity, The Gentleman's murderous henchperson.  A woman that, in early childhood, had been ruthlessly programmed to follow every instruction given by The Gentleman, no matter how vile or how much her inner spirit wishes to rebel.

Spider-Man is in for the fight of his life, but that fight is just a ruse...

I did not know when I started it that Adam-Troy Castro's novel Spider-Man: Revenge of the Sinister Six was the middle part of a trilogy, proceeded by The Gathering of the Sinister Six and followed by Secret of the Sinister Six.  Despite that misunderstanding, the book was a fun and easy to follow read.

Most of my knowledge of Spider-Man comes from watching both the cartoon and live action TV series as a child in the seventies.  I think I read a total of one Spider-Man comic when I was a kid.  It featured the villain the Lizard, who remains my favorite Spidey villain to this day.  Sam Raimi's hit movie version and its even better sequel got my geekboy sense tingling and, on a whim, I snagged Revenge of the Sinister Six at the local used bookstore.  I had planned on reviewing Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #1 to launch a Spider-Man thread on the blog, but its being tied in with an additional two books I had little interest in getting roped into reading, I decided to pass until Spider-Man: The Other is collected as a trade.  So Revenge of the Sinister Six is my first review of all things Spidey.

I thought it could have been a lot better than it was.

While Revenge of the Sinister Six is not bad, it is far too long.  Does a novel based on a comic book really need to be four hundred and thirty-five pages?  There was definitely some excess narrative fat in need of a healthy trimming in many the novel's overly detailed sequences.  That criticism aside, when the Sinister Six's dastardly Day of Terror (an honoring of sorts of Spider-Man's fatality inducing failures) begins, it becomes an exhausting two hundred page marathon of no holds barred brawling, with each villain getting his (or her) moment to attempt to defeat and shame the webslinger.  It is to Castro's credit as a writer that I was seriously beginning to doubt whether Spidey would be able to survive the day.  He also makes Spidey credible as a human being, no small feat for an iconic comic book character that has been around longer than I have.

Less credible is the world the characters inhabit, which is overflowing with Marvel heroes and villains (almost comically so) as well as an over indulgence in unnecessary pop culture in-jokes.  When Mr. Glass (from M. Night Shyamalan's Unbreakable) popped up, I thought, "Okay, a nice nod to that movie, and it fits nicely."  But then Randolph and Mortimer, two characters played by Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy in the Eddie Murphy movies Trading Places and Coming to America (which was more of an inspired cameo gag), showed up a page or two later, my brow furrowed.  (The Randolph and Mortimer gag gets so involved it has to imaginatively dance around the copyright infringement issue.)  But the book didn't stop there, because Detective frakkin' Sipowicz of You-Know-What is at one crime scene!  It's just so ridiculous and fanboyish that it hampers taking the story seriously as piece of immersive fiction.  (You know, the kind you can get lost inside while it unfolds.)  What was worse were the astounding amount of errors in the BP Book paperback edition I was reading.  Somebody in the printing process did not bother to proofread the book.

Final thoughts?  Fans will like the action and the way the characters are handled within the story, but the Spidey curious (such as myself) might come away thinking twice about plunking down cash for another Spider-Man novel.